A.C. Benson Quotes

Big deal... the only cats that don't have three legs are the ones with two through zero legs.

You know you drank too much the night before when you wake up with crop circles in your pubes.

We can choose to humble ourselves by conquering enmity toward our brothers and sisters, esteeming them as ourselves, and lifting them as high or higher than we are. . . .

I had a gothic phase, and now I'm more edgy chic.

One's mind has a way of making itself up in the background, and it suddenly becomes clear what one means to do.

I promise you that, with increased attendance in the temples of our God, you shall receive increased personal revelation to bless your life as you bless those who have died

We travel because we do not know. We know that we do not know the best before we start. That is why we start. But we forget that we do not know the worst either. That is why we come back.

Those who think clean thoughts do not do dirty deeds.

Pride... limits or stops progression. The proud are not easily taught. They won't change their minds to accept truths, because to do so implies they have been wrong.

Dogs have owners, cats have staff.

I have always been anonymous, that is the position I should be. And it is hard to say why or how you did something, it just happens.

I was next to Bobby [Kennedy] when he was shot. It was hideous. Part of me wanted to crawl away. I couldn't... I still wake up in the night and think about it. I even remember the f-stop. It was 1.4.

I don't know what I would have done if I had had to work for a living.

In Seattle, they have a saying: 'If you don't like the weather, wait five minutes and then shoot yourself in the face.'

The genius' behind the new Rocky movie decided to call it Rocky Balboa so that we'll probably forget that it's number six. Or Rocky Balboa can't count past five.

The Lord has warned and forewarned us against a day of great tribulation and given us counsel, through His Servants, on how we can be prepared for these difficult times. Have we heeded His counsel?

A message to parents who think legalizing weed will make their kids want to try it: they will anyway.

It is not enough simply to try to resist evil or empty our lives of sin. We must also fill our lives with righteousness

The key to life is to set goals and go after those goals, don't hold anything back.

The biggest factor between winning and losing is the mental approach.

The revelation to store food may be as essential to our temporal salvation today as boarding the ark was to the people in the days of Noah.

Pride is the great stumbling block of Zion. I repeat: Pride is the great stumbling block of Zion.

Boys like it when you're mean. That's what I'm best at. I make them feel so bad about themselves, all out of fun.

Do not make your mind a dumping ground for other people's garbage.

What would God have me do with my life?

Humility does not mean weakness. It does not mean timidity. It does not mean fear. A man can be humble and fearless. A man can be humble and courageous.

Vermouth always makes me brilliant unless it makes me idiotic.

Beware of those who would pit the dead prophets against the living prophets, for the living prophets always take precedence.

To a significant degree, we are an overfed and undernourished nation digging an early grave with our teeth, and lacking the energy that could be ours because we overindulge in junk foods.

For the past two centuries, those who do not prize freedom have chipped away at every major clause of our Constitution until today we face a crisis of great dimensions.

Stand-up is a very scary, very solitary profession, but you have to experience it to figure out if it's right for you.

The Book of Mormon is the "keystone" of our religion, and the Doctrine and Covenants is the capstone, with continuing latter-day revelation.

I just broke up with my girlfriend because I caught her lying. Under another man.

I love good old-fashioned black or white Converse. I have a few pairs. And they are all really dirty. I can't have clean Converse - I go in the dirt and run around!

In my perfect world, Hanna and Caleb would get married in Paris and have six kids and she's the new Anna Wintour. Just because I'm such a Haleb fan.

I've never been to a prom or a dance; so it's funny, because we have dances on the show, and I'll be like, 'Oh yay! It's my school dance!'

There can be no genuine happiness separate and apart from the home.

Society is not merely a select body of spiritual or intellectual persons, but a great organism composed of all kinds of members, a net containing bad and good.

There are some people who can never see a little cloud of fantasy float across the horizon of their dreams without building a heavy castle in the air upon it, and bringing it to earth.

The union of the family lies in love; and love is the only reconciliation of authority and liberty.

It takes a while for a photograph to mature. That sounds really pretentious, but it takes a time for it to go from here to there.

One of the trials of life is that we do not usually receive immediately the full blessing for righteousness or the full cursing for wickedness.

Life is very short, try everything you've dreamed about (within the perimeters of sanity and the law) and regret nothing. Oh, and don't forget the sunscreen.

No matter what they take from me, they can't take away my dignity.

Call no man a foe, but never love a stranger.

Young people, you need the wisdom of age, just as some of us older ones need your enthusiasm for life.

Pride adversely affects all our relationships - our relationship with God and His servants, between husband and wife, parent and child, employer and employee, teacher and student, and all mankind.

Encourage good music and art and literature in your homes. Homes that have a spirit of refinement and beauty will bless the lives of your children forever.

The sun was like a word written between the sea and the sky, a word that was swallowed up by the sea before any man had time to read it.

Everyone wants to look good in photographs, even us trolls who tell jokes.