Al Franken Quotes

It's easier to put on slippers than to carpet the whole world.

The biases the media has are much bigger than conservative or liberal. They're about getting ratings, about making money, about doing stories that are easy to cover.

Demagoguery sells. And therefore, radio stations will put it on. But that doesn't mean that you can't do something else and also make it sell.

Antitrust law isn't about protecting competing businesses from each other, it's about protecting competition itself on behalf of the public.

The Fourth Amendment doesn't apply to corporations.

When you win an election, what you really win is a chance to go to work for working families who need a voice in Minnesota.

My dad loved comedians, especially George Jessel, and he loved Henny Youngman and Buddy Hackett.

The thing that interests me least about the radio business is the radio business. But I've had to learn a little bit about it. It's not rocket science: You get ratings, that's good.

He [Newt Gingrich] is the most unpopular politician in America. His favorable rating is only four points higher than the Unabomber.

We know that the Russian's interfered in our election and they did it to benefit President Trump. The intelligence agencies confirmed that.

I’m good enough, I’m smart enough, and dog-gone it, people like me.

Whining is anger through a small opening.

In our political system, money is power. And that means a few can have a lot more power than the rest. That's bad news for everyone else - and for our democracy itself.

The crash of 2008 was driven in no small part by unfair practices in the mortgage industry which led to many consumers being trapped in loans they didn't understand and couldn't afford.

We need an investigation, because we don't know what Donald Trump owes Russia. We don't know how many Russian oligarchs have invested in his business.

My parents were really political. The news was very important in our home. We basically had dinner every night while watching the news, and then we'd discuss it with our parents.

We need to start by having a conversation about climate change. It would be irresponsible to avoid the issue just because it's uncomfortable to talk about.

Most Americans don’t think about antitrust law when they look at their cable bill, flip channels on TV, or worry about what their favorite website knows about them. But they should.

When the president during the campaign said he was against nation building, I didn't realize he meant our nation.

Humor and seriousness are not in opposition to each other.

It's the Power of the Almighty, the Splendor of Nature, and then you.

When you encounter seemingly good advice that contradicts other seemingly good advice, ignore them both.

National security laws must protect national security. But they must also protect the public trust and preserve the ability of an informed electorate to hold its government to account.

I want a president who can handle a cream soda.

If you use a cell phone - as I do - your wireless carrier likely has records about your physical movements going back months, if not years.

There is - I mean - I found early in life that righteous indignation is a little off-putting, and so I try to couch it with humor.

I grew up in Minnesota, where we treasure our tradition of civic engagement - and our record of having the nation's highest voter participation.

I think that the default for collecting any kind of personal data should be opt-in consent.

I'm crushed by the responsibility of writing a satirical book.

Changing technologies, changing marketplaces, and even changing trends in anti-competitive practices have all presented challenges to antitrust enforcement.

Why don't we focus on what Afghan women can do? They can cook, bear children, and pray. As I recall, that was fine for our grandmothers.

If I put myself on the ballot and even 50 people voted for me, it'd be a travesty.

Sometimes if I tell people, 'I'm afraid that I'm really a fraud,' or 'I have a lot of self-doubt,' they go, 'Oh, no, you're kidding.' I go, 'No, I'm really honest.'

Our laws need to reflect the evolution of technology and the changing expectations of American society. This is why the Constitution is often called a “living” document.

It is my fondest wish that in the fullness of time, the American people will look back on the Franken presidency as something of a mixed bag and not as a complete disaster.

I can assure you, this is not about spying on the American people.

Too many people don't protect their smartphones with a password or PIN. I anticipate that Apple's fingerprint reader will in fact make iPhone 5S owners more likely to secure their smartphones.

Well, a lot of politics is communicating with people, and obviously comedy has something to do with that. I've been a producer and led people. Also, being a comedian, you're under pressure.

I wish I had spent more time at the office and less time in prison.

I think Clinton fatigue was a real thing. It's just hard to get comfortable with Gore - it was hard for him to project who he is, the person people know in private.

Bill Clinton is the greatest president of the 20th century because I played touch football with him.

Anybody who deliberately propagandizes with lies should be held up to scorn and ridicule.

Teen pregnancy went way down in the '90s, and 75 percent of it was because of increased use of contraception.

I do have a self-censor; everybody does, or at least most who are not pathological do.

I believe people have a right to know what's going on with their information and how it's collected, how it's stored and who gets it.

My dad never graduated high school. He was a printing salesman. We lived in a two-bedroom, one-bath house in St. Louis Park, Minnesota. We weren't rich - but we felt secure.

If you look at terrorists, they really have no sense of humor.

Bob Dole used to be really funny. Barney Frank can be kind of funny. Bob Kerrey has a good sense of humor.

There's plenty of room for humor in politics, God knows, but it's a serious business.

Having an actual income can expand your romantic horizons toward the more appealing end of the spectrum.