Al Lewis Quotes

Failures are finger posts on the road to achievement.

You are never too old to set another goal or to dream a new dream.

I know lots of people who are educated far beyond their intelligence.

It's difficult to think anything but pleasant thoughts while eating a homegrown tomato.

There's no such thing as being too Southern.

The game of life is a lot like football. You have to tackle your problems, block your fears, and score your points when you get the opportunity.

Baptists never make love standing up. They're afraid someone might see them and think they're dancing.

It's better to have died a small child than to be a politician who gets caught in a scandal during a slow news month.

You call to a dog and a dog will break its neck to get to you. Dogs just want to please. Call to a cat and its attitude is, 'What's in it for me?'

Instead of getting married again, I'm going to find a woman I don't like and give her a house.

Life is like a dogsled race. If you ain't the lead dog, the scenery never changes.

The idiot who invented instant grits also thought of frozen fried chicken, and they ought to lock him up before he tries to freeze-dry collards.

I came from a big family. As a matter of fact, I never got to sleep alone until I was married.

You can't go back and change the beginning, but you can start where you are and change the ending.

God bless Merle Haggard. He did all the things that Johnny Cash was supposed to have done.

I'd much rather sit next to a smoker in a restaurant than a nose-blower.

Money doesn't grow on trees, and if it did somebody else would own the orchard.

If soccer was an American soft drink, it would be Diet Pepsi

I finally figured it out, I finally figured out how to find some peace and happiness. I sure would hate for the man upstairs to take me now. But at least I did figure it out.

If I Ever Get Back to Georgia, I'm Gonna Nail My Feet to the Ground.

Today's sensitive male has learned to share in open frank discussions about relationships like, "Where the hell did you get a crazy idea like that? You been reading Redbook again?"

I get letters from people who say, 'What have you got against women?' What could I possibly have against women? I've married three of them.

Life with God is not immunity from difficulties, but peace in difficulties.

Don't shine so that others can see you. Shine so that through you, others can see HIM.

If you see something that is not right, not fair, not just, you have a moral obligation to do something about it.

I believe in Christianity as I believe that the sun has risen: not only because I see it, but because by it I see everything else.

Believe in God like you believe in the sunrise. Not because you can see it, but because you can see all it touches.

The fact that our heart yearns for something Earth can't supply is proof that Heaven must be our home.

If you live for the next world, you get this one in the deal; but if you live only for this world, you lose them both.

You cannot be afraid to speak up and speak out for what you believe. You have to have courage, raw courage.

Isn't it funny how day by day nothing changes, but when you look back, everything is different.

Getting over a painful experience is much like crossing monkey bars. You have to let go at some point in order to move forward.

We create our future, by well improving present opportunities: however few and small they are.

The greatest evils in the world will not be carried out by men with guns, but by men in suits sitting behind desks

You don't have a soul. You are a Soul. You have a body.

The Christian does not think God will love us because we are good, but that God will make us good because He loves us.

When the whole world is running towards a cliff, he who is running in the opposite direction appears to have lost his mind.

To be a Christian means to forgive the inexcusable because God has forgiven the inexcusable in you.

We may not have chosen the time, but the time has chosen us.

The chief difficulty Alice found at first was in managing her flamingo.

Integrity is doing the right thing, even when no one is watching.

I pray because I can't help myself. I pray because I'm helpless. It doesn't change God - it changes me.

Atheists express their rage against God although in their view He does not exist.

When My Love Returns from the Ladies Room, Will I Be Too Old to Care?

When people tell me nothing has changed, I say come walk in my shoes and I will show you change.

When fascism comes to the United States it will be wrapped in the American flag and will claim the name of 100-percent Americanism

God doesn't want something from us. He simply wants us.

Don't let your happiness depend on something you may lose.

There is something wrong when you wait in line thirty minutes to get a hamburger that was cooked for ninety seconds an hour ago.

Habit is a powerful means of advancement, and the habit of eternal vigilance and diligence, rarely fails to bring a substantial reward.