Al Murray Quotes

Common sense is like deodorant. The people who need it most never use it.

Mansell can see him in his earphone.

You know how funerals are not for the dead, they’re for the living? Bachelor parties are not for the groom, they’re for the uncommitted.

If I could hear Christ praying for me in the next room, I would not fear a million enemies.

Dancers work and live from the inside. They drive themselves constantly producing a glow that lights not only themselves but audience after audience.

No one in the world needs a mink coat but a mink.

Humility is the displacement of self by the enthronement of God.

Our biggest regrets are not for the things we have done but for the things we haven't done.

Capitalism is a social cancer. It has always been a social cancer. It is the disease of society. It is the malignancy of society.

People understand contests. You take a bunch of kids throwing rocks at random and people look askance, but if you go and hold a rock-throwing contest - people understand that.

Removal of an organ is difficult and dangerous. There have been several deaths of healthy donors. I think myself, I would be hesitant to participate as a liver donor. It's a very tricky operation.

Two hands working can do more than a thousand clasped in prayer.

I don't make mistakes. I make prophecies which immediately turn out to be wrong.

It is not great talents God blesses so much as great likeness to Jesus. A holy minister is an awful weapon in the hand of God.

After I told my wife that black underwear turned me on, she didn't wash my Y-fronts for a month.

I've had bad luck with both my wives. The first one left me and the second one didn't.

There is one good thing about Marx: he was not a Keynesian.

The more the government intervenes to delay the market's adjustment, the longer and more grueling the depression will be, and the more difficult will be the road to complete recovery.

Still the noise in the mind: that is the first task - then everything else will follow in time.

You can tell how boring a person is by the lack of fear in their eyes when someone is flipping through photos on their phone.

It is in war that the State really comes into its own: swelling in power, in number, in pride, in absolute dominion over the economy and the society.

Good education means learning to read, write and most importantly learn how to learn so that you can be whatever you want to be when you grow up.

Our Being is Becoming, not stasis. Our Science is Utopia, our Reality is Eros, our Desire is Revolution.

All government operation is wasteful, inefficient, and serves the bureaucrat rather than the consumer.

Dieting: A system of starving yourself to death so you can live a little longer.

An anarchist society, far from being a remote ideal, has become a precondition for the practice of ecological principles.

It is not the business of the law to make anyone good or reverent or moral or clean or upright.

A political convention is just not a place where you come away with any trace of faith in human nature.

If Christ justifies you, He will sanctify you! He will not save you and leave you in your sins.

IF is a very long word in Formula One; in fact, IF is F1 spelled backwards.

I used to think that losing made you more hungry and determined but after my success at the Olympics and the U.S. Open I realise that winning is the biggest motivation.

Like an ant, I will find my way round any obstacle. Like a child, I will persevere with pinpoint focus.

I think creativity is spiritual. I absolutely believe that.

On the trail of another man, the biographer must put up with finding himself at every turn; any biography uneasily shelters an autobiography within it.

How far is too far? When you love a band so much that its songs fill the empty spaces inside your head and heart, is that too far?

For every look at self, take 10 looks at Christ.

The root of all virtue and grace, of all faith and acceptable worship, is that we know that we have nothing but what we receive, and bow in deepest humility to wait upon God for it.

The secret is to have a sense of yourself, your real self, your unique self. And not just once in a while, or once a day, but all through the day, the week and life.

Just beat my record for most consecutive days without dying.

And Michael Schumacher is 37 seconds ahead, so he can refuel the car, change all four wheels, take off his helmet, have a smoke and a cup of tea, and rejoin in first.

Remember that the minimum wage law provides no jobs; it only outlaws them; and outlawed jobs are the inevitable result.

There are no hierarchies in nature other than those imposed by hierarchical modes of human thought, but rather differences merely in function between and within living things.

Motor racing can never be totally safe and it never should be in my opinion.

This would have been Senna's third win a row if he'd won the two before

Learn that urgency in prayer does not so much consist in vehement pleading, as in vehement believing. He that believes most the love and power of Jesus will obtain the most in prayer.

Prayer [is] the quiet, persistent living of our life of desire and faith in the presence of our God.

The lead car is unique, except for the one behind it which is identical.

There's always a way through things if you work hard enough and look close. It all depends on your level of determination.

We now have exactly the same situation as we had at the start of the race, only exactly the opposite.

Humility is simply the disposition which prepares the soul for living on trust.