Andy Borowitz Quotes
Let's withdraw from Afghanistan and have the army invade America - that's the only way we'll get new schools and roads.
The only way to explain how some people dress for the airport is they think no one else will be there.
A race between Perry and Christie would test whether Americans would rather be executed or eaten.
It only cost Mitt Romney $76.6 million to defeat a serial adulterer and a mental patient in a sweater vest.