Bernie Mac Quotes

When I get a chance to play golf or go on a boat with good people, take the boat out and put some lobsters on the grill, get the ice-cold beer and the cigars - that's heaven here on earth.

Whatever you hear at the barber shop, stays at the barber shop.

Whatever success I've had, I always like to top it.

You can't change what happened. Just like you can't change the future by worrying about it. You just have to keep moving.

When it comes to raising children, I believe in give and take. I give orders and they take 'em.

I'm not afraid to fail. Sometimes when you lose, you win. Sometimes when you win, you lose.

I can't build myself by beating somebody down.

Suffering is a good teacher. It keeps you in its grip until you've learned your lesson.

If you mess something up, remember who got you there. Don't be pointing fingers, even if finger-pointing is called for. Only one you got to blame is your own self.

You know you poor when you eatin' breakfast food late. You fryin' toast? At nine o'clock at night? With bacon? You're broke.

Sometimes when you lose you win, son. Failure is just life's way of preparing you for success.

Fear is not one of my attributes.

Only way you can you get upset is when you expecting something.

I want to speak directly to the audience, to say, 'I'm like you - I'm frustrated, I'm not an expert, I don't have a manual on parenting, I make mistakes, I'm selfish too.'

I love who I am. I love what I've become.

Hugs aren't like pieces of pie. Plenty of hugs to go around.

My comedy comes from pain. I can't stand to see someone hurting.

I'm so black, I leave fingerprints on coal.

People like rumors. They're going to say things like, 'You was at the club with Lil' Kim, and you and Kanye West got into a fist fight.' You can't get upset. You've got to keep hope alive.

Black audiences are hard. They always think they're better than you. So you got to come with a little extra to satisfy them.

America...Do not touch my TV, my DVD, my stereo, my dual-deck VCR. Do not touch my old school, my new school, my slow jams, my party jams, my happy rap, and you better not touch...My James Brown.

I love my daughter, but there's a certain feeling, a certain emotion when you got a granddaughter, you know?

The Bernie Mac Show' is my life. It's the truth, and I'm not ashamed of a minute, an hour, or a second of my life.

When I go onstage, I want to relieve your mind, your pressures.

It took me a long time to get to where I'm at, in my career and as a man. I was going through my trials and tribulations in life, and it gave me the strength to tackle things that have come my way.

When you're offstage, that's the footprint. That's the man God's gonna judge.

I'm funny. I'm a comedian. I'm not a clown.

Why do people love Richard Pryor so much? 'Cause he had problems.

I hate to let people down. I was like that in sports and I was like that in comedy. I was like that at work. When I worked General Motors and stuff like that, when I say something, I mean it.

I want to play a villain - I can't wait to play a villain.

You have to meet all of the challenges, big and small. Because how you start is how you finish.

I hate to compare anything, especially while I'm promoting. I feel that's another disrespect, but 'Ocean's 13' is the best movie I've ever done in my life. No question.

Okay, first rule of this carpool. No breaking wind in my car. The only gas that Bernie Mac want to be smelling is unleaded.

As I got older, I got into all kinds of things in the streets - but for some reason, I never got caught up with the gangs growing up. Everybody dug me, man. I never had problems.

It's a pleasure to work with someone who is just as strong as you are.

I came up in the community center. I used to be physical director of the South Central Community Center in Chicago on 83rd. It's still there. It used to be around there when I was a kid.

I'm an ordinary guy with an extraordinary job.

That's the whole key to anything: Don't be afraid to fail. And is not afraid to fail.

Making people laugh is what I've been doing since I was like four or five years old. I still have a lust, I still have a passion. I don't care about how I look, I'm dedicated to the laughs.

I've introduced myself with comedy, and once you've introduced yourself as something, that's where people keep you. That's where people like to hold you.

I was good at keeping my mother from crying.

I don't ever watch myself. By watching, you try to perfect yourself, become a robot.

I don't have no story. Everybody wants this Hollywood story, but the world don't owe you nothing, man. It's what you owe the world.

I'm not a star, and I don't want to be a star. Stars fall. I'm an ordinary guy with an extraordinary job.

You're never going to see me playing a buffoon.

My humor had changed from foolishness to making sense.

If I can tell someone a story that makes them bend over and laugh, that's bigger than anything else.

I came from a place where there wasn't a lot of joy.

I wasn't disciplined at all. As good of an athlete as I was, I was not disciplined. Had I had the drive that I have in comedy, and acting, and writing, that's why I knew it just wasn't right for me.

I can act. I've been acting for a long time, but like anything else, don't nobody owe you nothing. You've go to pay your dues. You go from A to Z; you don't go from M to Z.