Bill Cosby Quotes

I'm not sure if my parents had me because they loved me, or because they wanted someone to watch their other children.

What's your name again? That's right. I'm so glad you know your name.

College was a wonderful time - except, of course, when it was trying to teach you things.

You know my father's favorite game? Come here and pull my finger.

Repeat after me. I promise not to run outside of the house. I promise not to run inside of the house. I promise not to touch, pick up, step on, anything that looks interesting.

I'm a Christian. But Muslims are misunderstood. Intentionally misunderstood. We should all be more like them.

I'm not saying looting is good, ... But I'm saying surely at a time when your child needs diapers and you need food, when does looting stop.

You also notice that the right side of your face feels like it's sliding off of your skull. And your bottom lip is in your lap!

I've got a Ferrari. VROOM! I do 104 from the garage to the front door.

My wife and I have five children and the reason why we have five children is because we do not want six.

My father walked to school 4 o'clock every morning with no shoes on, uphill, both ways, in 5 feet of snow and he was thankful.

Let me say this: I only expect the black media to uphold the standards of excellence in journalism and when you do that, you have to go in with a neutral mind.

Because for me it is almost analgesic to talk about what the white man is doing against us. And it keeps a person frozen in their seat, it keeps you frozen in your hole you’re sitting in.

Most fathers and... Mothers. Only your grandmother and Ghengis Khan know how to do it.

You are not going to 'go forth.' You are going to take that damn hat off and you're going to get a job.

You people are not prepared. You are well educated and you look cute, but that's not going to cut it.

Why do I have to feed the kids? They just ate twelve hours ago!

Our children are trying to tell us something. And we are not listening.

We parents ask dumb questions, therefore we get dumb answers.

Meadowlark and I share a common vision of bringing joy and laughter to others.

The dentist drills some more and you hear him make a mistake. And to cover it up, they all say the same thing: "Okay, rinse."

My mother comes in my room and says, "Just look at this mess! This is a pig sty!" Now, I've already been in the room five hours, and she wants me to LOOK at it.

Ours is a youth culture, and like a golf tournament, we honor only low scores.

If you want to be seen, stand up.If you want to be heard, speak up.If you want to be appreciated, shut up.

gray hair is gods graffiti

The past is a ghost, the future a dream and all we ever have is now.

A word to the wise ain't necessary, it's the stupid ones who need advice.

And of course, when you see your brother in the toilet bowl...there's a little voice that say, 'I wonder where he would go...'...if it hadn't been for his head...

Parents are not really interested in justice. They just want quiet.

Human beings are the only creatures on Earth that allow children to come back home.

There's no labor a man can do that's undignified if he does it right.

I think 'I Spy, ' still when you look at it, speaks volumes in terms of propaganda for equality. It's just magnificent.

Learning to read clusters is not something your eyes do naturally. It takes constant practice.

Tons of comedians have said, 'I grew up learning from Bill Cosby. He's great.' But that respect doesn't mean much to the young people. They like their ginger ale with hot sauce.

I never saw anything funny in a car commercial - but that's OK. Whatever they wanted to do - it's their product and I'm the spokesperson, and I'm going to deliver.