Bill Hicks Quotes

I don't get along with anything, I really don't...I'm, I'm, maybe I'm just a, you know, incredibly tasteful human being.

They believe the bible is the exact word of God - Then they change the bible! Pretty presumptuous, hu huh? "I think what God meant to say..."

What kind of people are these with such low self-esteem that they need a war to feel better about themselves?

People always snap and think they're Jesus. How come no one ever snaps and thinks they're Buddha?

That's starting to depress me about UFOs. The fact that they cross galaxies...and always end up in places like Fyfe, Alabama.

Your denial is beneath you, and thanks to the use of hallucinogenic drugs, I see through you.

What does an atheist scream when they come?

I'm an American who loves an America which doesn't exist, which is a land of freedom and free ideas.

I used to drink, I did, I had to quit. Man, I was an embarrassing drunk. I'd get pulled over by the cops, I'd be so drunk I'd be out dancing to their lights thinking I'd made it to another club.

Is it my business if somebody wants to burn a flag?...No, it's not...That's called logic and it'll help us all evolve.

Rock stars against drugs--that's what we want, isn't it? Government-approved rock-n-roll? Woo! We're partying now!

It's really weird how your life changes. Tonight I'm drinking water. Four years ago? Opium. Night and day, you know?

I, like all artists in Western cultures, am a shaman...come in the guise of a comic...to heal perception by using...'jokes'.

You are the imagination of yourself.

Keith Richards outlived Jim Fixx, the runner and health-nut dude. The plot thickens.

What strikes me as funny about Elvis is that all the impersonators choose to do the Vegas Elvis; not the young, cool guy, always the bloated fool.

Man, the Beatles were so high, they let Ringo sing a coupla tunes. Tell me they weren't partyin'.

The Voice of Reason is in us all...and everyone can recognize it because it makes sense and everyone benefits from it equally.

The American dream is a crock. Stop wanting everything. Everyone should wear jeans and have three T-shirts, eat rice and beans.

The best kind of comedy to me is when you make people laugh at things they've never laughed at, and also take a light into the darkened corners of people's minds, exposing them to the light.

I'm a heavy smoker. I go through two lighters a day.

We are losing the 'War on Drugs,' which means there's a war going on and people on drugs are winning it.

I smoke to fill the potholes in my soul

Sixteen years I've pounded my head against the mentality of America, which...I'd say it's about an 8th grade emotional level.

"Smoking may cause fetal injury or premature birth." ... I found my brand. Just don't get the ones that say, "Lung Cancer."

Oh sorry, I was taking life seriously.

Music is a great energizer. It's a language everybody knows.

I left in love, in laughter, and in truth, and wherever truth, love and laughter abide, I am there in spirit.

...love rather than fear...this radical philosophy is coming from me, an avowed misanthrope...surely there is hope for us all.

Just one thing I know for sure, chicks dig jerks.

It's hard to have a relationship in this business...it's gonna take a very special woman...or a bunch of average ones.

Do I have a message? Yes, I do. Here's my message: as scary as the world is – and it is – it is merely a ride ...

Isn't that weird, we've made nature against the law. That's how un-natural we've become.

I smoke. If this bothers anyone, I suggest you look around at the world in which we live and shut your f-kin' mouth.

That's why I always recommend a psychedelic experience because it makes you realize that all you've learned is in fact just learned and not necessarily the truth.

I saw...a kid on a leash. You seen these people? Kid on a leash? How horrible. Put him in the pound where he belongs.

We are the facilitators of our own creative evolution.

Would you let the aliens land, please? They might be here to pick me up.

All day long you see those commercials: 'Here's Your Brain, Just Say No'...and the next commercial is: 'This Bud's For You.'

I was just down in Dallas, Texas...the Assassination Museum...it's really accurate, you know, 'cause Oswald's not in it.

Oh my God. Lift me up out of this illusion, Lord. Heal my perception that I might know only reality and only you.

Be yourself on stage. Nobody else can be you and you have the law of supply and demand covered.

They Want You To Be A Docile Apathetic Consumer

It's always funny until someone gets hurt. Then it's just hilarious.

I hate patriotism... I can't stand it. It's a round world last time I checked.

I can't watch TV longer than five minutes without praying for nuclear holocaust.

I don't mean to sound bitter, cold, or cruel, but I am, so that's how it comes out.

not all drugs are good.. some of them are great

Go back to bed America, your government is in control again. Go back to bed America... you are free to do as we tell you... you are free to do as we tell you.

I can't believe a war against drugs when they have anti-drug commercials on TV all day long followed by This Bud is for you.