Bill Watterson Quotes

You can draw a penguin on a toilet reading The New York Times and it's adorable, but try doing it with an adult male character, and it's disgusting.

I think of football as a sport the way ducks think of hunting as a sport.

Mom and Dad say I should make my life an example of the principles I believe in... But every time I do, they tell me to stop it.

Art has to keep moving and discovering to stay alive.

I find my life is a lot easier the lower I keep everyone's expectations.

Reality continues to ruin my life.

Happiness is being famous for your financial ability to indulge in every kind of excess.

I go to school, but I never learn what I want to know.

That's the whole problem with science. You've got a bunch of empiricists trying to describe things of unimaginable wonder.

I don't think I'd have been in such a hurry to reach adulthood if I'd known the whole thing was going to be ad-libbed.

God put me on this earth to accomplish a certain number of things. Right now I am so far behind that I will never die.

I try to make everyone's day a little more surreal.

I learned about what I love. Imagination, deep friendship, animals, family, the natural world, ideas and ideals ... and silliness.

Hobbes: How come we play war and not peace? Calvin: Too few role models.

The way Calvin's brain is wired, you can almost hear the fuses blowing.

People who get nostalgic about childhood were obviously never children.

So the secret to good self-esteem is to lower your expectations to the point where they're already met?

Form follows function, as the architects say. With words and pictures, you can do just about anything.

It's going to be a grim day when the world is run by a generation that doesn't know anything but what it's seen on TV.

Everybody I know fails the acid test of friendship.

Isn't it sad how some people's grip on their lives is so precarious that they'll embrace any preposterous delusion rather than face an occasional bleak truth?

I think hiccup cures were really invented for the amusement of the patient's friends.

You can drag my body to school but my spirit refuses to go.

If you can't win by reason, go for volume.

I wonder if you can refuse to inherit the world.

Talking with you is sort of the conversational equivalent of an out of body experience.

Specifically, I’d like to debate whether cannibalism ought to be grounds for leniency in murders, since it’s less wasteful.

You can present the material, but you can't make me care.

At school, new ideas are thrust at you every day. Out in the world, you'll have to find your inner motivation to seek for new ideas on your own.

Genius is never understood in its own time.

A REAL job is a job you hate.

I'm related to people I don't relate to.

Life is like topography, Hobbes. There are summits of happiness and success, flat stretches of boring routine and valleys of frustration and failure.

Calvin: Medically speaking:. That's love?!?..... Hobbes: Heck, that happened to me once, but I figured it was cooties!!

My likely historical significance is a terrible burden. ~ Calvin

Careful. We don't want to learn from this.

Well, remember what you said, because in a day or two, I'll have a witty and blistering retort! You'll be devastated THEN

What state do you live in? Denial.

I'm a misunderstood genius." "What's misunderstood?" "Nobody thinks I'm a genius.

Hobbes: Do you think there's a God? Calvin: Well, somebody's out to get me!

Until you stalk and overrun, you cannot devour anyone. -Hobbes

No sport is less organized than Calvinball.

Virtual reality has nothing on Calvin.

Buttons ... check. Dials ... check. Switches ... check. Little colored lights ... check.

The secret to enjoying your job is to have a hobby that's even worse

Hey Susie Derkins, is that your face, or is a 'possum stuck in your collar?

Mothers are the necessity of invention.

It's a magical world, Hobbes, ol' buddy... Let's go exploring!

Repetition is the death of magic.

You know what I like about summer days? They're just made for doing things... even if it's nothing. Especially if it's nothing.