Bill Watterson Quotes

I always think of "Popeye" and "Barney Google" as quintessential comic strips in that old rollicky, slapstick way we've sort of lost.

Hee hee hee! You should've seen the look on your face!" "If mom and dad cared about me at all, they'd buy me some infra-red nighttime vision goggles.

I'm a man of few words." "If you read more, you might have a larger vocabulary.

Obviously the great thing about this job is the complete freedom of the schedule. So long as I meet the deadline, they don't care when I work or how I work.

I write separately from the inking up. I'm sure this varies from cartoonist to cartoonist; I find that the writing is the hard part and the drawing is the fun part.

I'm a misunderstood genius.

Hobbes: Do you think there's a God?Calvin: Well, somebody's out to get me!

CALVIN:When I grow up I want to be an inventor. First I will invent a time machine. Then I'll come back to yesterday and take myself to tomorrow and skip this dumb assignment.

CALVIN:As usual goodness hardly puts up a fight.

HOBBES:Virtue needs some cheaper thrills.

HOBBES:If you don't get a goodnight kiss you get Kafka dreams.

Sometimes when I'm talking, my words can't keep up with my thoughts. I wonder why we think faster than we speak. Probably so we can think twice.

In my opinion, we don't devote nearly enough scientific research to finding a cure for jerks.

I find my life is a lot easier the lower I keep my expectations.

The world isn't fair, Calvin.""I know Dad, but why isn't it ever unfair in my favor?

Now what state do you live in?''Denial.

From now on, I'm not doing anything I don't want to do! The world owes me happiness, fulfillment and success.... I'm just here to cash in.

Calvin: Why are you crying mom?Mom: I'm cutting up an onion.Calvin: It must be hard to cook if you anthrpomorphisize your vegetables.

I like maxims that don't encourage behavior modification.-Calvin

Calvin:"It says here that 'religion is the opiate of the masses.'...what do you suppose that means?"Television: "...it means that Karl Marx hadn't seen anything yet

That's the difference between me and the rest of the world! Happiness isn't good enough for me! I demand euphoria!

The purpose of writing is to inflate weak ideas, obscure poor reasoning and inhibit clarity.

CALVIN:Our hero regains consciousness at the feet of a sarcastic alien.

There's never enough time to do all the nothing you want.

How come we play war and not peace?""Too few role models.

I think we dream so we don't have to be apart so long.

You know, maybe we don't need enemies.""Yeah, best friends aree about all I can take.

Until you stalk and overrun, you cannot devour anyone.-Hobbes

BE CAREFUL, OR BE ROADKILL!

Maybe we can eventually make language a complete impediment to understanding.

Cigars are all the rage, dad. You should smoke cigars!" - Calvin"Flatulence could be all the rage, but it would still be disgusting." - Calvin's mom

On gray days, when it's snowing or raining, I think you should be able to call up a judge and take an oath that you'll just read a good book all day, and he'd allow you to stay home.

Calvin : There's no problem so awful, that you can't add some guilt to it and make it even worse.

There are few things less comforting than a tiger who's been up too late.

I'm a misunderstood genius.""What's misunderstood?""Nobody thinks I'm a genius.

You can make your superhero a psychopath, you can draw gut-splattering violence, and you can call it a "graphic novel, " but comic books are still incredibly stupid.

Shutting off the thought process is not rejuvenating the mind is like a car battery - it recharges by running.