Billy Crystal Quotes

Change is such hard work.

My granddaughter's birth has made me want to create things she will love.

Nothing can take the sting out of the world’s economic problems like watching millionaires present each other with golden statues.

At 60, I could do the same things I could do at 30, if I could only remember what those things are.

By the time a man is wise enough to watch his step, he's too old to go anywhere.

I'm going to go on just living and laughing and loving.

It is better to look good than to feel good.

What's so fascinating and frustrating and great about life is that you're constantly starting over, all the time, and I love that.

To be good, you need to believe in what you're doing.

A laugh is a weird sound, and when you get a couple thousand people making it at once, it's really strange. But when I can feel proud of myself for causing it, it's great.

You give up your dream, you give up.

Good news, they found Nemo! The bad news is, they found him in one of Wolfgang Puck's puff pastries.

You really have to have some muscle to be on the stage in front of the world.

I don't like heights. This is why I stopped growing at fifth grade.

I think when I feel I'm at my best is when I'm on stage, and it's my version of jazz because it's just riffing or something.

As a director and an actor, I encourage improvisation but in character and in the moment of what it is.

It's money. I remember it from when I was single

Gentlemen, start your egos!

I can't be funny if my feet don't feel right.

Well, the way things are going, aside from wheat and auto parts, America's biggest export is now the Oscar.

That's the thing about jazz: it's free flowing, it comes from your soul.

I'm going to be your grandpa! / I have the biggest smile. / I've been waiting to meet you for such a long, long while.

I'm comfortable being old... being black... being Jewish.

I was a film-directing major at NYU. I'm still not sure why I became a directing major, when I was really an actor and a comedian, but there was something that drew me to doing that.

Even when I was in school shows, in elementary school doing plays, I'd always go off book and start improvising.

The Passion of the Christ opened up on Ash Wednesday, had a Good Friday.

I'm married - I've caught my limit.

Don't give up your power.

I didn't rebel as a child. I missed that angry teenager thing.

I quit drinking. That was a big problem for a lot of years. Then after that, I just started feeling grateful again.

When I've gotten criticism, it's that it's too long, too soft, didn't hit the government hard enough. Then when I do hit the government, they go, What's he doing hitting the government?

When you realize you want to invest the rest of your lifestyle with somebody, you want the rest of your life to commence as quickly as achievable.

Kids need a happy household. They need to be loved and supported in their dreams. And I don't think you can make your kids' dreams your own. They need you to support them in their dreams.

I had really good hearing and when you're scared it gets heightened so you hear scratching noises or something.

I have 40-something intros [that Davis Jr. did]; all are different, none of them happened. And it was hilarious.

I had a dream that Connie Chung is doing a newscast about my death and they show a clip from Soap.

I used to limp around my neighborhood imitating him. I did my Bar Mitzvah with an Oklahoma drawl.

When we had the girls, my daughter Jenny gave us like a Bible from my daughter of, "Don't feed them this; don't feed them that, if she says this, don't say that," It was crazy!

From the first time I saw Sid Caesar be funny I knew that's what I had to do.

Despite what The Wall Street Journal says, our awards are the best-kept secret in America, with the possible exception of what George W. Bush did in the '70s.

I always came away thinking "I'd like to see her more," you know? And then when [Parental Guidance] was ready to be cast, we thought - Bette [Midler]. So we called her.

Since I was a kid, every Thanksgiving growing up in New York, we always watched 'The March of the Wooden Soldiers' by Laurel and Hardy. Never miss it.

My mind is always going. I'm always thinking what I need to do, what I haven't done, what I did do, what I didn't do as well as I could - I'm relentless that way with myself.

Bambi, to a kid, was scary.

I'm a sucker for a free tuxedo.

There's only, I think, in life, three things that I do pretty well: Performing, I still can field ground balls, and I make nice kids.

Did you ever reach a point in your life, where you say to yourself, 'This is the best I'm ever going to look, the best I'm ever going to feel, the best I'm ever going to do,' and it ain't that great?

Great news! Hosting Oscars counts five hours toward my community service!

Nobody is more truthful when he's acting than De Niro.

The inspiration was this great group of 40 or 50 relatives, sometimes for Thanksgiving or Passover or something and my brothers would just go up and make them laugh.