Bob Hope Quotes

There are many talented English personalities, but unfortunately they were all in Hollywood.

President Eisenhower has given up golf for painting. It takes fewer strokes.

The service at the Imperial (Tokyo) is the finest I've encountered anywhere. There was a button next to my bed marked ROOM SERVICE - and a maid to press it for me.

The firm is really ahead of the times. It has a stock market ticker that prints its report on thin aspirins.

I ruined my hands in the ring. The referee kept stepping on them.

If my golf game was a prize fight, they'd stop it.

Congratulations to whoever is finally booking music we love. It's going to get us out of the house after dark!

A very, very religious man. Every time I eat a peanut, I feel immortal.

My folks were English . . . we were too poor to be British.

It sure has been a pleasure for us to broadcast for the sailors and soldiers; besides, its part of the National Defence Program to prepare our boys for anything.

When you get over 95, every day is your day.

The old water heater in my dressing room was working, but it was kind of tired. It gave off about as much warmth as an agent's handshake.

I felt I wasn't getting anywhere in England.

If they liked you, they didn't applaud -- they let you live.

If he slices the budget like he slices a golf ball, the nation has nothing to worry about.

Cypress Point is such a beautiful place, but it's also very exclusive. They had a very successful membership drive last month. They drove out forty members.

The home videos aren't as good, but they are seeming to get better.

I tell jokes to pay my green fees.

Titleist has offered me a big contract not to play its balls.

Seventy years of ad-lib material, and I am speechless.

There was nothing subtle about our landing. The pilot just pointed the nose at the ground and let her rip.

He was bare chested and in good trim. I said that just looking at him I knew there would always be an England

Go figure a crazy, mixed-up country where ballet outsells boxing. I wouldn't be surprised if their wrestling was on the level.

It was a great honour to be inducted into the Hall of Fame. I didn't know they had a caddie division.

Over the years, I have been subjected to many indignities, all for the sake of Art. If I ever catch him, I'm going to kill the guy.

When we recall Christmas past, we usually find that the simplest things - not the great occasions - give off the greatest glow of happiness.

I was lucky I wasn't a better boxer or that's what I'd be now - a punchy ex-pug.

I don't generally feel anything until noon then it's time for my nap.

We had a very successful trip to Russia we got back.

I do benefits for all religions. ... I'd hate to blow the hereafter on a technicality.

It you watch a game it's fun. If you play it it's recreation. If you work at it it's golf.

If you watch a game it's fun. If you play it it's recreation. If you work at it it's golf.