Carolyn Hax Quotes

There's nothing wrong with being happy somewhere, even if it's the little pond you grew up in, as long as you are in fact comfortable vs. bored.

Minimizing exposure to miserable people is nothing short of a life strategy.

I do crosswords when I have time to kill somewhere, and am 100 percent successful on filling in the spots I get stuck on - after I close up, do something else, and then go back to it.

Relationships are complicated, but happiness in a relationship isn't: It's just wanting exactly what you have. Wanting something else is dispiriting.

No matter what else comes, your courage will be your companion for life.

It's hard to send your baby off on a plane without you, though that's less reasonable, because sending him off in a car is statistically a bigger risk.

When in doubt, respond to what you witness, not what you hear secondhand.

When people get more frustrated by their indecision than by the situation that prompted it, clarity often follows.

You don't want someone who can't tell the difference between having a different opinion and dismissing your opinion.

Instead of talking at each other about the non-business-related contact, talk to each other about your concerns about marriage. Listen a lot, too.

The most reliable ways to make oneself miserable are attempting to change people and not attempting to change circumstances.

You can't make someone agree with you, not even when you're 100 percent sure you're right.

When you fail to see something, that doesn't mean I'm hiding it.

Almost no one can take on an entire future in one step, much less while reeling emotionally.

Separation is where you see if it works better with the adults in two different homes.

I'm sure there are people who can toggle quickly from all-in caregiving to structured socializing, but I can't think of any offhand.

People who make babies surrender their right to behave like them.

I think a person who arranges the event and orders the food also picks up the check - even the birthday person, even when people at the table insist on paying for the birthday person.

Apparently you have ample proof from experience that you're not going to stop world evil by debating your in-laws into submission, so it's okay to choose not to try.

Unfortunately, I think the expectation is that birthday girls don't pay.

First group impressions can mask a lot of individual variations in the members.

There is a difference between your parents' not reporting to you everything they do and keeping secrets from you.

I have no quarrel with people who lack the skill or temperament to care for small children.

Once given, a gift is yours to use, store or dispose of as you see fit.

If you are being shuffled around, then you should feel shuffled around.

A lot of support gets withheld out of fear of awkwardness and misspeaking.

It takes awareness that it's not only not a bad thing to let others do things their own way, it is in fact an improvement. It makes life richer and more interesting.

You don't want to be with someone who is already not getting from you what he needs emotionally.

I believe in innocence until there's proof of guilt and all that.

I think we'd all hate to be the one who gets declared undateable by one's entire grad-school population based on a couple of told and retold stories.

Separating is not divorcing. Please keep that in mind. It is, instead, the second step in seeing if there's a better way to manage your family.

I'm not a big fan of the white lie.

Being highly invested and preoccupied by an emotionally consuming mission tends to steal resources from other aspects of your emotional life.

There's nothing like a good family when you're really up a tree.

Waiting for someone to propose to you only passes the "Really, it's tradition!" sniff test when both of you think it's the man's job to propose and both of you think that's awesome.

We all make deals with ourselves when it comes to the difficult people in our lives.

Awkwardness is when there's a risk of a perception gap between what you mean and what you appear to mean.

Sometimes the pain outweighs the good things.

All of us assign different values to things, and not all of those values are going to line up with others'.

Moving is hard. Staying is easy. Logistically speaking, at least. And this is true whether you're doing or undoing something.

For some people, the better route for finding like-minded parents is just to get out of your house with your baby and frequent baby-friendly places.

It's probably good for your body and brain to get moving occasionally.

You need to make plans for your future, so plan your own future.

Make sure you have legal cover for what you're doing.

If you're not sure what you want, then hold back from making plans or responding to invitations until you have a chance to think about it.

Attractions are things we all should be good at saying no to, because our Department of Attraction is arguably the least reliable and productive office in our entire brain.

It's okay to forgive yourself immediately and for good.

One way to make tough decisions is to take incremental steps that don't commit you to anything yet.

Bodies and minds need breaks or the work suffers, this has been proven and reproven to the point where we don't even need to post links to support it.