Christopher Moore, A Dirty Job Quotes

Don't be ridiculous, Charlie, people love the parents who beat their kids in department stores. It's the ones who just let their kids wreak havoc that everybody hates.

Mr. Asher, you can resist who you are for only so long. Finally, you just decide to go with fate.

So I am death" Charlie said then turned to his daughter while buttering his toast."This is death toast sweety.

But Charlie could imagine, because he was a Beta Male, and imagination was his curse....

Blessed with the Beta Male imagination, he spent much of his life squinting into the future so he might spot ways in which the world was conspiring to kill him...