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Christopher Moore Quotes

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Christopher Moore Quotes: "He loved constantly, instantly, spontaneously, without thought or words. That's what he taught me. Love is not something you think about, it is a state in which you dwell. That was his gift."

He loved constantly, instantly, spontaneously, without thought or words. That's what he taught me. Love is not something you think about, it is a state in which you dwell. That was his gift.



Christopher Moore Quotes: "It's wildly irritating to have invented something as revolutionary as sarcasm, only to have it abused by amateurs."

It's wildly irritating to have invented something as revolutionary as sarcasm, only to have it abused by amateurs.




Christopher Moore Quotes: "If you think anyone is sane you just don’t know enough about them. The key — and this is very relevant in our case — is to find someone whose insanity dovetails with your own."

If you think anyone is sane you just don’t know enough about them. The key — and this is very relevant in our case — is to find someone whose insanity dovetails with your own.



Christopher Moore Quotes: "Oh, we are but soft and squishy bags of mortality rolling in a bin of sharp circumstance, leaking life until we collapse, flaccid, into our own despair."

Oh, we are but soft and squishy bags of mortality rolling in a bin of sharp circumstance, leaking life until we collapse, flaccid, into our own despair.




Christopher Moore Quotes: "Nobody's perfect... Well, there was this one guy, but we killed him."

Nobody's perfect... Well, there was this one guy, but we killed him.



Christopher Moore Quotes: "I was seven before I realized that you could eat breakfast with your pants on."

I was seven before I realized that you could eat breakfast with your pants on.



Christopher Moore Quotes: "If you think anyone is sane you just don't know enough about them."

If you think anyone is sane you just don't know enough about them.




Christopher Moore Quotes: "Canada is a myth people made up to entertain children, like the Tooth Fairy. There’s no such place."

Canada is a myth people made up to entertain children, like the Tooth Fairy. There’s no such place.



Christopher Moore Quotes: "So hey, once Joshua heals your brother, you want to go do something, get some pomegranate juice, a falafel,or get married or something?"

So hey, once Joshua heals your brother, you want to go do something, get some pomegranate juice, a falafel,or get married or something?



Christopher Moore Quotes: "Blessed are the dumbfucks."

Blessed are the dumbfucks.



Christopher Moore Quotes: "Well they're pissed off and they're hungry. I was kind of busy trying not to get my brains eaten. They seemed pretty adamant about the brain-eating thing. Then they're going to IKEA, I guess"

Well they're pissed off and they're hungry. I was kind of busy trying not to get my brains eaten. They seemed pretty adamant about the brain-eating thing. Then they're going to IKEA, I guess



Christopher Moore Quotes: "Science, you don't know, looks like magic."

Science, you don't know, looks like magic.




Christopher Moore Quotes: "In business, as in politics, the public is ever so tolerant of those who slime."

In business, as in politics, the public is ever so tolerant of those who slime.



Christopher Moore Quotes: "Life is loneliness, broken only by the gods taunting us with friendship and the odd bonk"

Life is loneliness, broken only by the gods taunting us with friendship and the odd bonk



Christopher Moore Quotes: "We know there's going to be nothing but pain, but we go back again and again."

We know there's going to be nothing but pain, but we go back again and again.



Christopher Moore Quotes: "Unless you can change the past, you’re wasting the present on this guilt"

Unless you can change the past, you’re wasting the present on this guilt



Christopher Moore Quotes: "Why understand when you can believe?"

Why understand when you can believe?



Christopher Moore Quotes: "Oh, I would while away the hours, Wanking in the flowers, my heart all full of song, I'd be gliding all the lilies as I waved about my willie, If I only had a schlong."

Oh, I would while away the hours, Wanking in the flowers, my heart all full of song, I'd be gliding all the lilies as I waved about my willie, If I only had a schlong.



Christopher Moore Quotes: "And an inky-colored despair of rejection enveloped me like the black tortilla of depression around a pain burrito."

And an inky-colored despair of rejection enveloped me like the black tortilla of depression around a pain burrito.



Christopher Moore Quotes: "Faith isn't an act of intelligence, it's an act of imagination."

Faith isn't an act of intelligence, it's an act of imagination.



Christopher Moore Quotes: "There's a fine edge to new grief, it severs nerves, disconnects reality--there's mercy in a sharp blade. Only with time, as the edge wears, does the real ache begin."

There's a fine edge to new grief, it severs nerves, disconnects reality--there's mercy in a sharp blade. Only with time, as the edge wears, does the real ache begin.



Christopher Moore Quotes: "San Francisco is a breathtakingly beautiful city, with lots of great contrasts between dark and light, often overlapping each other. It's a great setting for a horror story."

San Francisco is a breathtakingly beautiful city, with lots of great contrasts between dark and light, often overlapping each other. It's a great setting for a horror story.



Christopher Moore Quotes: "You think you know how this story is going to end, but you don't."

You think you know how this story is going to end, but you don't.



Christopher Moore Quotes: "You don't hurry a thinker, and you don't talk to him when he's thinking. It's just inconsiderate."

You don't hurry a thinker, and you don't talk to him when he's thinking. It's just inconsiderate.



Christopher Moore Quotes: "He had risked his freedom and his pride to buy her this, to acknowledge that part of her that everyone else seemed to want to get rid of."

He had risked his freedom and his pride to buy her this, to acknowledge that part of her that everyone else seemed to want to get rid of.



Christopher Moore Quotes: "That's the scary thing about hope," she said. "If you let it go too long it turns into faith."

That's the scary thing about hope," she said. "If you let it go too long it turns into faith.



Christopher Moore Quotes: "... but to remain historically accurate, I would have had to leave out an important question that I felt needed to be addressed, which is, 'What if Jesus had known kung fu?"

... but to remain historically accurate, I would have had to leave out an important question that I felt needed to be addressed, which is, 'What if Jesus had known kung fu?



Christopher Moore Quotes: "Enchantment and seduction were fine means of persuasion, but when time is short, an awkward but quick concussion could better serve a girl's purpose."

Enchantment and seduction were fine means of persuasion, but when time is short, an awkward but quick concussion could better serve a girl's purpose.



Christopher Moore Quotes: "Boredom can be a lethal thing on a small island."

Boredom can be a lethal thing on a small island.



Christopher Moore Quotes: "Do we still have to floss?" Tommy asked. "I mean, what's the point of being immortal if we have to floss?"

Do we still have to floss?" Tommy asked. "I mean, what's the point of being immortal if we have to floss?



Christopher Moore Quotes: ". . . And so Charlie Asher . . . led an army of fourteen-inch-tall bundles of animal bits, armed with everything from knitting needles to a spork, into the storm sewers of San Fransciso."

. . . And so Charlie Asher . . . led an army of fourteen-inch-tall bundles of animal bits, armed with everything from knitting needles to a spork, into the storm sewers of San Fransciso.



Christopher Moore Quotes: "It’s like he has this power over me—like I have an eating disorder and he’s a package of Oreo Double Stuff cookies."

It’s like he has this power over me—like I have an eating disorder and he’s a package of Oreo Double Stuff cookies.



Christopher Moore Quotes: "The angel has confided in me that he is going to ask the Lord if he can become Spider-Man. [...] The children need heroes, he says. I think he just wants to swing from buildings in tight red jammies."

The angel has confided in me that he is going to ask the Lord if he can become Spider-Man. [...] The children need heroes, he says. I think he just wants to swing from buildings in tight red jammies.



Christopher Moore Quotes: "He wanted her to experience all the glorious cheese of life."

He wanted her to experience all the glorious cheese of life.



Christopher Moore Quotes: "In fact, he sorely hoped that it would happen, because otherwise, the world made no sense, there was no justice, and life was just a tangled ball of chaos."

In fact, he sorely hoped that it would happen, because otherwise, the world made no sense, there was no justice, and life was just a tangled ball of chaos.



Christopher Moore Quotes: "That's the difference between irony and sarcasm. Irony can be spontaneous, while sarcasm requires volition. You have to create sarcasm."

That's the difference between irony and sarcasm. Irony can be spontaneous, while sarcasm requires volition. You have to create sarcasm.



Christopher Moore Quotes: "All killer whales are named Kevin. You knew that, right?"

All killer whales are named Kevin. You knew that, right?



Christopher Moore Quotes: "Stephenie Meyer: Her vampires are sparkly, which I think we can all agree is wrong."

Stephenie Meyer: Her vampires are sparkly, which I think we can all agree is wrong.



Christopher Moore Quotes: "He has the attention span of a hummingbird."

He has the attention span of a hummingbird.



Christopher Moore Quotes: "Sweetheart, wake up; you've destroyed the house and I need you to suffer for it."

Sweetheart, wake up; you've destroyed the house and I need you to suffer for it.



Christopher Moore Quotes: "An adventure story is fear recalled in comfort."

An adventure story is fear recalled in comfort.



Christopher Moore Quotes: "What is your name?" asked Lear. Caius," said Kent. And whence do you hail?" From Bonking, sire." Well, yes, lad, as do we all," said Lear, "but from what town?"

What is your name?" asked Lear. Caius," said Kent. And whence do you hail?" From Bonking, sire." Well, yes, lad, as do we all," said Lear, "but from what town?



Christopher Moore Quotes: "It's like time travel only, you know, slower."

It's like time travel only, you know, slower.



Christopher Moore Quotes: "Actually, orcas aren't quite as complex as scientists imagine. Most killer whales are just four tons of doofus dressed up like a police car."

Actually, orcas aren't quite as complex as scientists imagine. Most killer whales are just four tons of doofus dressed up like a police car.



Christopher Moore Quotes: "That's a horrible plan." "Yes, but I have chosen to ignore that."

That's a horrible plan." "Yes, but I have chosen to ignore that.



Christopher Moore Quotes: "The pursuit of material gain is ultimately empty when measured against eternity."

The pursuit of material gain is ultimately empty when measured against eternity.



Christopher Moore Quotes: "He invented Kung Fu when translated to English means method by which short, bald guys can kick the bejeezus out of you."

He invented Kung Fu when translated to English means method by which short, bald guys can kick the bejeezus out of you.



Christopher Moore Quotes: "Only cops and vampires have to have an invitation to enter."

Only cops and vampires have to have an invitation to enter.



Christopher Moore Quotes: "Hope is bulletproof, truth just hard to hit"

Hope is bulletproof, truth just hard to hit