Chuck Klosterman Quotes

You're trying to find new ideas in people. I always think to myself, what question I am least comfortable asking the person? And then I make sure I ask it early in the interview.

I care about strangers when they're abstractions, but I feel almost nothing when they're literally in front of me.

It doesn't matter what you can do if you don't know why you're doing it.

The things he did on purpose were usually no different from the mistakes he made by accident.

I am ready to be alone.

If you stare long enough at anything, you will start to find similarities. The word “coincidence” exists in order to stop people from seeing meaning where none exists.

And I spilled gravy on my Carolina sweater, because I am alive.

That's like comparing apples with hermaphroditic ground sloths.

If rain is God crying, I think God is drunk and his girlfriend just slept with Zeus.

It might sound chauvinistic, but there is a sad reality in rock music: Bands who depend on support from females inevitably crash and burn.

Some say that time is like water that flows around us (like a stone in the river) and some say we flow with time (like a twig floating on the surface of the water).

We all eventually become whatever we pretend to hate.

We are often wrong about the past, but at least with the past you can change your thinking. We can't do that with the future.

The reason that people in the intellectual community argue that football is dangerous is because there's now a large swath of society that has no relationship to physicality or potential violence.

Every generation is more influenced by technology, which is always changing faster.

I like storms. I would say I actively like stormy weather. I would not be afraid of them. I think that if I had not pursued journalism, I think storm-chasing would've been a really fun career.

Maybe it takes forty years of your life to understand how the world seems to work.

If Donald Trump loses badly, it could mean the end of the GOP as one of the two significant parties.

I think people's relationship with the concept of violence changes, and that to me might be a little more interesting.

I almost never get lonely. I love being alone. I'm glad I'm married, and I love my wife. But there's never been a situation in my life where my unhappiness was based on loneliness.

Mostly, we argued about who which of us was better at arguing, and particularly about who had won the previous argument.

We argued about how hard it would be to ride a bear, assuming said bear was muzzled.

The falling flakes were random and without purpose; the snow was drunker than she was.

Even though I wanted to experience all these things I was interested in, I couldn't get them. So I had to think critically and culturally about what was available.

Perhaps we humans are still in command, and perhaps there really will be a conventional robot war in the not-so-distant future. If so, let's roll.

Outcasts may grow up to be novelists and filmmakers and computer tycoons, but they will never be the athletic ruling class.

It was the kind of love you can only feel toward someone you don't actually know.

In New York, people are unhappy on purpose, because unhappiness makes them seem more complex; in Washington DC it just sort of works out that way.

Instead, we were given a publication called the Weekly Reader, which was like a newspaper for four-foot illiterates.

Science fiction tends to be philosophy for stupid people.

As of right now, I am in love with her, and that love is the biggest problem in my life.

Even eternally free people are enslaved by the process of living.

I tend to equate sadness with intelligence.

Do you know people who insist they like 'all kinds of music'? That actually means they like no kinds of music.

[On political correctness:] Any intended message mattered less than the received message, and every received message could be interpreted in whatever way the receiver wanted.

We’re all tourists, sort of. Life is tourism, sort of. As far as I’m concerned, the dinosaurs still hold the lease on this godforsaken rock.

When given the choice, we’d all rather be happy now … even if that guarantees we’ll all be sad later.

The last girl I love will be someone I haven’t even met yet, probably.

I grew up on a farm, and we didn't have cable and only limited radio stations, so I wasn't inundated with culture the way people in other parts of the country were. But I was really interested in it.

Soccer is like punk rock: The product is not necessarily terrible. The problem is the fan base.

The goal of being alive is to figure out what it means to be alive.

I want fake love. But that's all I want, and that's why I can't have it.

Texting has become my favorite way to communicate. I feel like many of my relationships are based in this, because in a sense it feels the closest to actual conversation that isn't the phone.

Technology evolves faster than people do, faster than biology does.

It seems as though our ability to change technology happens so quickly, and our ability to evolve as creatures is still very slow.

I was a teenager in the '80s - and maybe I'm wrong about this - but it seemed like a bad era for movies that were scary. It was really the height of movies that were disgusting.

If you can't swim, the idea of being in nine feet of water is terrifying, much less the ocean.

All my friends are rock critics, so we talk about rock criticism a lot. Because of that, in order to be part of the conversation, you have to have an awareness of what the discussion is.

Because I'm 44, I feel kind of lucky that I lived through this period where I started my career where there was no Internet at all, and now when I finish it, there will be nothing but the Internet.

I think this is the kind of thing where we're rapidly moving toward an age where most of the populace will be almost unable to imagine life without an Internet component interlocked with it.