Chuck Palahniuk Quotes

Katherine Kenton remains among the generation of women who feel that the most sincere form of flattery is the male erection.

His saliva tasted like the wet dicks of ten thousand lonely truck drivers.

The cancer I don't have is everywhere now.

Doesn't reincarnation strike you as just another form of procrastination?

Proof that no investment is yours forever.

I figure if Eve could get us into this mess, I could get us out. After all, God really likes to see a go-getter.

The truth is, wherever you choose to be, it's the wrong place.

There's worse that people can steal from you than money.

If it is the case that love does survive death, then you may consider this to be a happy ending. Boy meets girl. Boy gets girl. Happily ever after or not.

If emotion can create a physical action, then duplicating the physical action can re-create the emotion.

We're the culture that cried wolf.

Idiot people like Angel Delaporte who look for a supernatural reason for ordinary events, those people drive Misty nuts.

How everything you ever love will reject you or die. Everything you ever create will be thrown away. Everything you're proud of will end up as trash.

"This isn’t really death," Tyler says, "We’ll be legend. We won’t grow old." I tongue the barrel into my cheek and say, Tyler, you’re thinking of vampires.

I want to have your abortion.

Stanislavski was right, you can find fresh pain every time you discover what you pretty much already know.

About my boss, Tyler tells me, if I'm really angry, I should go to the post office and fill out a change-of-address card and have all his mail forwarded to Rugby, North Dakota.

At some point, your memories, your stories, your adventures, will be the only things you'll have left.

Let me be the ring leader in your guilt gang-bang.

You're safe because you're so trapped inside your culture. Anything you can conceive of is fine because you can conceive of it.

Deliver me, Tyler, from being perfect and complete.

So if you think this is going to save you...If you think anything is going to save you...Please consider this your final warning.

When you're thinking about the rest of your life, you're never really thinking more than a couple years down the road.

If Marilyn Monroe was alive right now, what would she be doing?' Clawing at the roof of her coffin.

Every time we burn a gallon of gas or an acre of rain forest, aren't we killing the future to preserve the present?

Because tanning and steroids are only a problem if you plan to live a long time.

Maybe we should always assume the worst.

Love and life belongs to great risk.

I ran. I ran until my muscles burned and my veins pumped battery acid. Then I ran some more.

With insomnia, you're never really awake; but you're never really asleep.

People will listen to you only when they know you're dying, otherwise they're just waiting for their turn to talk.

You have to keep recycling yourself.

This is less teaching than damage control. You may as well paint a house that’s on fire.

Just each of us being me, me, me first. The murderer, the victim, the witness each of us thinks our role is the lead. Probably that goes for anybody in the world.

The problem with every story is you tell it after the fact.

Anything pretty,' Claire will tell you, 'it's only for sale because no one wants it.

Her mom and dad are both doctors and want her to follow her dream, not turn out the way they have, no matter how much it costs them.

What you forget when you're planning a hijack by yourself is somewhere along the line, you might need to neglect your hostages just long enough so you can use the bathroom.

To see how boring you really are, write a book about soap and cults, and the profits you make will be your only means of subsistence.

you can make mean anything.

I'm sorry if this all seems a little rushed and desperate. It is.

What I mean is sometimes, for an artist, chronic pain can be a gift.

I am Jack's smirking revenge.

The little boy smiled back at all the angry faces glaring in at him. And the little boy blew kisses.

In light this bright, after so long in the dark, everything we can see is only black and white. Only glaring shape-outlines we have to blink against.

I'm not so much a good friend as I'm the savior who wants you to worship him forever.

you're doomed at being you.

On game shows, some people will take the trip to France, but most people will take the washer and dryer pair.

Tell the world what scares you most. Save the world with some advice from the future.

There is nothing special in the world. nothing magic. just physics.