Chuck Palahniuk Quotes

Someone bent on suicide won't have much sense of humor left.

Picture anybody growing up so stupid he didn't know that hope is just another phase you'll grow out of.

Anything you can aquire is only another thing you'll lose.

If you ask me, most people have children just as their own enthusiasm about life begins to wane.

You cannot be the person they know and the great, glorious person you want to become. Not at the same time.

When you reach the end of your life - trust me, you won't look back and savor the moments you spent alone.

I see the strongest and the smartest men who have ever lived... and these men are pumping gas and waiting tables.

If it comes down to a choice between being unloved and being vulnerable and sensitive and emotional, then you can just keep your love.

Who you are moment to moment is just a story.

Don't rush or force the ending. All you have to know is the next scene, or the next few scenes.

There are only patterns. Patterns on top of patterns, patterns that affect other patterns, patterns hidden by patterns, patterns within patterns.

And if you believe that we really have free will, then you know that God can't really control us. And since God can't control us, all God does is watch and change channels when He gets bored.

You realize that there's no point in doing anything if nobody's watching. You wonder, if there had been a low turnout at the crucifixion, would they have rescheduled?

Imagine a plague you catch through your ears.

The greatest weapon any warrior can carry into battle is absolute certainty of her eternal soul.

We all want to explain ourselves. Nobody wants to be forgotten.

I believe in something. But I don't believe that anything can hold a grudge for long enough to condemn its creation to eternal punishment. Nobody can hold a grudge that long, even God.

Leonardo's Mona Lisa is just a thousand thousand smears of paint. Michelangelo's David is just a million hits with a hammer. We're all of us a million bits put together the right way.

I can become someone else, not out of pressure and desperation, but merely because a new life sounds fun or interesting or joyful.

Everything you see is based on fact of a event thats already happen, Even light only travels so fast.

There's a terrible dark joy when the only person who knows all your secrets is finally dead.

Demons are former celebrities who prey on their own insecurities.

...no way could I fall in love. I just couldn't go there yet. Settle for less. I didn't want to process through anything. I didn't want to pick up any pieces. Lower my expectations.

The weather today is partly angry, leading to resignation and ultimatums.

Just for the record, the weather today is increasing turmoil with a possible physical and emotional breakdown.

The photographer in my head says: Give me peace. Flash. Give me release. Flash.

Just for the record, how I feel right now is very terrific.

On a night without moon or stars you can't see a thing, but you can imagine anything.

To merely observe your culture without contributing to it seems very close to existing as a ghost.

The weather today is an increasing trend towards denial.

Nothing happened, and nothing kept happening.

We're so structured and micromanaged, this isn't a world anymore, it's a damn cruise ship.

It's not living alone if you keep a rifle under the bed.

Sobriety is okay enough," Denny says, "but someday, I'd like to live a life based on doing good stuff instead of just not doing bad stuff. You know?

this is the upside of already being eternally damned

I am not loved. I am not a beautiful soul. I am not a good-natured, giving person. I am not anybody's savior.

Besides, it happens fast for some people and slow for some, accidents or gravity, but we all end up mutilated.

I'm a toxic waste byproduct of God's creation.

Torture is torture and humiliation is humiliation only when you choose to suffer.

You grow up to become living proof of your parents' limitations. Their less-than masterpiece.

Being tired isn't the same as being rich, but most times it's close enough.

This is the worst problem with living history museums. They always leave the best parts out. Like typhus. And opium. And scarlet letters. Shunning. Witch-burning.

The only biodiversity we're going to have left is Coke versus Pepsi. We're landscaping the whole world one stupid mistake at a time.

To repeat, the way you get to the huge, impossible yes is, you start collecting a lot of easy, small yeses.

From famous artists to building contractors, we all want to leave our signature. Our lasting effect. Your life after death. We all want to explain ourselves. Nobody wants to be forgotten.

We all have this moment, when your folks first see you as someone not growing up to be them.

Rant would tell people: 'You're a different human being to everybody you meet.

Why should I believe any of this?' It happens that fast. I say, because I think I like you. Marla says, 'Not love?' This is a cheesy enough moment, I say. Don't push it.

The truth is you can be orphaned again and again and again. The truth is, you will be. And the secret is, this will hurt less and less each time until you can't feel a thing. Trust me on this.

After a good-looking boy gives you rabies two, three times, you'll settle down and marry somebody less exciting for the rest of your life