Craig Ferguson, American On Purpose: The Improbable Adventures Of An Unlikely Patriot Quotes

I think when you become a parent you go from being a star in the movie of your own life to the supporting player in the movie of someone else's.

I didn't say no because between safety and adventure I choose adventure.

I knew that I had been partially right in the storeroom above the bar on Christmas Day. Whoever I had become had to die.

Every day I ran to that book like it was a bottle of whiskey and crawled inside because it was a world that I had at least some control over, and slowly, in time, it began to take shape.

Divorce lawyers stoke anger and fear in their clients, knowing that as long as the conflicts remain unresolved the revenue stream will keep flowing.

I found the prospect daunting, but somehow comforting, too, because the counselors insisted it could be done, and, after all, many of them were recovering alcoholics themselves.

Acid gave me a clinical, unblinking look at madness, and I discovered I wasn't brave enough to be insane.

After all this time I found that the novel is in fact punk rock.

I found out it is just as hard to make a movie that you are not proud of as it is to make one you love.

My mother was tickled and I think kind of proud when my father got hit on my an attractive middle-aged Asian lady who hadn't noticed he was with his family. He was certainly pleased about it.

I didn't flee a dictator or swim an ocean to be an American like some do. I just thought long and hard about it.

From this moment on I'd dedicate my life to rock and roll and take as many drugs as possible. What could possibly go wrong?

It seemed that I performed better sober than drunk. Who knew?

She still cared for me, and the best way I could make amends to her was to be happy.I do have a knack for finding great women.