Daniel Handler Quotes

The library was one enormous room, with long, high metal shelves and the perfect quiet that libraries provide for anyone looking for an answer.

For Beatrice, our love broke my heart, and stopped yours.

You'd think that sweet would be a land far, far away from irritating, but as it turns out they're right next door, and always having border disputes.

You meet people who are in pain in life and love and you forgive them for behaving the way they do.

So she loved him. She just did immediately and again often and clearly naturally and soundly and obviously and many others.

You should never stick something that you are allergic to into your mouth, especially if that thing is cats.

Are you ready?" Klaus asked finally. "No," Sunny answered. "Me neither," Violet said, "but if we wait until we're ready we'll be waiting for the rest of our lives, Let's go.

It was a secret time and place, you next to me, untraceable and out of this world

Grammar is the greatest joy in life, don't you find?

'Help me,' Allison says, but she is soft-spoken, and everyone she loves is so far away.

She gave me a hug and for a second I was embraced by a body that makes me want to go home and never eat again.

I will love you if I never see you again, and I will love you if I see you every Tuesday.

Wherever there’s a conductor, you’re sure to find a dead composer!

People who say money doesn’t matter are like people who say cake doesn’t matter—it’s probably because they’ve already had a few slices.

The quoting of an aphorism, like the angry barking of a dog or the smell of overcooked broccoli, rarely indicates that something helpful is about to happen.

For Beatrice- My love for you shall live forever. You, however, did not.

Life never end when you are in it.

This is love if it's not with you, a terrible fiery something that makes people look away, and it feels like a punch in the throat.

Once more, this is love: it rings and you open up unless it looks like an ax murderer.

Love is candy from a stranger, but it's candy you've had before and it probably won't kill you.

Sometimes words are not enough.

Sometimes when someone tells a ridiculous lie, it is best to ignore it entirely.

One of the remarkable things about love is that, despite very irritating people writing poems and songs about how pleasant it is, it really is quite pleasant.

The way sadness works is one of the strangest riddles of the world.

It is very easy to say that the important thing is to try your best, but if you are in real trouble the most important thing is not trying your best, but getting to safety.

Like People, animals will become frightened and likely do whatever you say if you whip them enough.

Members of your family might say they are working hard all day long, while you are off at school or clarinet lessons, but the only way to know this for sure is to follow them at a discreet distance.

Or why you are wearing a picture of Santa Clause on you shirts, but-” “It’s Herman Melville.

If you enjoy books with happy endings than you are better off reading some other book.

We laughed the rest of the way, because the point of this story is, it is not the cookies. It is the love.

I want to love you and take you pretty places. Yes, I have things wrong, but also I can walk through walls if you'll let me show you.

I go to bed early and rise late and feel as if I have hardly slept, probably because I have been reading almost the entire time.

Tell me what it is, or prepare to eat harpoon.

We need things, and the opposite of them, and we are so rarely completely comfortable.

Your initial opinion on just about anything may change over time.

They say in every library there is a single book that can answer the question that burns like a fire in the mind.

You can't believe everything you read.

If you know somebody very well, like your grandmother or your baby sister, you will know when they are real and when they are fake.

Even the best plans can change if there's an accident.

I stayed there loving you, though the love made me, not sad but I guess melancholy, for a reason I couldn’t point to.

-Most people would say that she's beautiful. -That's because she's been with most people.

I hadn't even been looking, not for you, and now you were my heart's desire.

That night was a dark day. Of course, all nights are dark days, because night is simply a badly lit version of day.

What you don't read is often as important as what you do read.

I’m not a cuckoo, either. I’m a fool is what.

Is it OK not to be a virgin, yes. Most people aren’t virgins, Min. That’s why there’s people to begin with.

Dumping you times infinity. Still not enough.

who would dare think that, forever? Some idiot girl who wouldn’t know how things played out.

Like a lot of people whose children were small in the 2000s, I read [Daniel Handler] books out loud and I loved them.

I first told the idea to an editor I had met who, after reading one of my novels for adults that was set in a high school, had an idea that I might write something for children.