Dave Attell Quotes

I don't think I'm a star or a celebrity or any thing like that.

I'm not like a performer type.

I'm a joke comic. I tell jokes. I like writing a joke, and I like when a joke works, and I like other comics who tell jokes.

I don't watch reality TV.

For me, Molly Hatchet is high school. It makes me feel like I have hair and a future.

I'm not the comic of the generation, I'm not even the funniest guy in my family.

I like doing stand-up and I love putting out TV specials.

I like doing stand-up and I love putting out TV specials. I'm not an actor though, so I don't really have much choice in the matter.

I used to do drugs, but that was way back there.

I'm not really a music guy.

I have soundtracks for a lot of stuff.

I'm a joke comic. I tell jokes.

I keep getting these people at my shows who only know me from television. I can always tell when they're, like, emotionally flinching when I start doing my jokes.

I have a lot of pot tendencies. I'm always late, I laugh for no reason, I watch Jeopardy! with the sound off and make up my own questions.

Are you shooting webs of stupid at me?