Demetri Martin, This Is A Book Quotes
REGARDING THE MARCHING BAND: How much more interesting it would be to see a creeping band.
It is illegal to yell “fire” in a crowded theater. If there is a fire, please yell something else instead, like “Flames!” or “Smoke maker!” or “Bad hot!
Hotel Conundrum: The continental breakfast. What is it that makes continents so shitty at providing an adequate breakfast?
Fact: The plastic knife is perfect for when a person just wants to make some marks on his food and get insanely frustrated at the same time.