Douglas William Jerrold Quotes
Earth is here so kind, that just tickle her with a hoe and she laughs with a harvest.
After all there is something about a wedding-gown prettier than in any other gown in the world.
He is one of those wise philanthropists who, in a time of famine, would vote for nothing but a supply of toothpicks.
A coquette is like a recruiting sergeant, always on the lookout for fresh victims.
A man never so beautifully shows his own strength as when he respects a woman's softness.
A man is in no danger so long as he talks his love; but to write it is to impale himself on his own pothooks.
Grumblers deserve to be operated upon surgically; their trouble is usually chronic.
He was so benevolent, so merciful a man that, in his mistaken passion, he would have held an umbrella over a duck in a shower of rain.
A blessed companion is a book! A book that, fitly chosen, is a life-long friend. A book — the unfailing Damon to his loving Pythias. A book that — at a touch — pours its heart into our own.
Happiness grows at our own firesides, and is not to be picked in strangers' gardens.
There is peace more destructive of the manhood of living man than war is destructive of his material body.
A man, so to speak, who is not able to bow to his own conscience every morning is hardly in a condition to respectfully salute the world at any other time of the day.
A conservative is a man who will not look at the new moon out of respect for that 'ancient institution' the old one.
Jewels! It's my belief that when woman was made, jewels were invented only to make her the more mischievous.
Slugs crawl and crawl over our cabbages, like the world's slander over a good name. You may kill them, it is true; but there is the slime.
Self-defense is the clearest of all laws; and for this reason - the lawyers didn't make it.
Fortunes made in no time are like shirts made in no time; it's ten to one if they hang long together.
Intemperance is the epitome of every crime, the cause of every kind of misery.
What women would do if they could not cry, nobody knows. What poor, defenceless creatures they would be!
Wits, like drunken men with swords, are apt to draw their steel upon their best acquaintances.
There are some people as obtuse in recognizing an argument as they are in appreciating wit. You couldn't drive it into their heads with a hammer.
Duty, though set about by thorns, may still be made a staff supporting even while it tortures. Cast it away, and, like the prophet's wand, it changes to a snake.
I never hear the rattling of dice that it does not sound to me like the funeral bell of the whole family.
That man is thought a dangerous knave, Or zealot plotting crime, Who for advancement of his kind Is wiser than his time.
Man owes two solemn debts--one to society, and one to-nature. It is only when he pays the second that he covers the first.
Reputations, like beavers and cloaks, shall last some people twice the time of others.