Dov Davidoff Quotes

I've never understood why anybody makes a big deal about mansions. It's just a house with more rooms. You still have to face yourself.

Suicide is like the ejector button in the cockpit of an F-15. If life goes into a permanent tail spin, it's nice to know the option is there.

The Statue of Liberty really is profound, I just wish she'd lighten up a bit.

Nike store won't accept my Starbucks card as payment. Come on guys, just do it.

All politicians promise that which they cannot deliver. I just wish they did so less gleefully.

Perhaps being hated in the right way is preferable to being loved in the wrong one.

The quality of a restaurant's food is inversely proportioned to the amount of fun its staff seems to be having.

Hard to explain to a guard dog that you need it to protect you from yourself.

Is there anything more attractive than a woman in high heels and low self esteem?

Not sure how I feel about reality. I'm going to begin purchasing stuffed animals and endowing them with the qualities people in my life lack.

America has so much debt, if she were a person she'd need a co-signer to get a car loan.

I find anger so comforting. It's like a blanket made of unresolved issues, but it's a blanket none the less.

We're in this together usually means I'm here for you, unless it requires me getting into my car anywhere near rush hour.

Violence is never the answer, unless you don't feel like talking.

You know you've lived in LA to long when what you fear most about prison is a lack of organic produce.

Domestic violence isn't funny, especially if you live together.

Anyone who says I would never hit a woman hasn't met my x girlfriend.

Is it a bad sign when someone asks you about the person your dating and a tear falls from your eye as you leap into oncoming traffic?

Suicide is a terrible idea, but if you're going to end it, do so at a Pinkberry near you.

No one understands the way I feel about things I don't understand.

People that say I'm really sensitive rarely are.

When rappers call each other son it leads me to believe they don't take fatherhood very seriously.

When being interviewed by a woman for a job, never begin with listen up doll face.

People would be so much more interesting if they'd behave like who they are, and not like what they think others expect them to be.

I've decided to retreat to the spirit world where I feel appreciated and understood.

False humility is thinly veiled ego disguised as self confidence.

I really appreciate the way you don't appreciate me, said my subconscious as I agreed to go out with her yet again.

The downside of aging is a slower metabolism and achy joints.The upside is a knowledge of self that prevents one from behaving like a baboon.

If procrastination were a marketable skill, I'd be a real hot commodity.

People shouldn't take my lack of interest in what they're saying personally. I don't really care about what I'm saying most of the time.

I don't know if it's the economy, but finding work as a spiritual guru is really hard. Maybe I should grow my hair out.

I'd spend more time with you if you were less like you.

Just saw a t-shirt at the gym said, body by torture. That's a lot less ironic if you're a political prisoner in the Middle East.

A picture is worth a thousand words, but conversations with them generally end in dissapointment.

If only you understood the way I felt... it wouldn't help much because I don't really like you as a person.

Gotta get rid of these free radicals, but first I need to figure out what they are.

I'd put my faith in god, but I haven't met him, and I've been hurt before.

At the gym; I've given up trying to get in really good shape, and re-committed myself to not getting any worse.

Nothing good about the sun if you're trying to watch television with out curtains.

One day I'd like to beat you at your own game, but your game is badmitton so that will probably never happen.

Why hasn't anyone opened a night club named 'No Drugs Allowed, Wink, Wink'?

Sleep is over rated, then again so is being awake.

Most people that commit to a life of celibacy weren't leaving that much on the table in the first place.

Laughing at ones own attempt at humor while saying things just come to me should be punishable by death.

I'd find myself more interesting if I weren't with me all the time.

Fake titties are inversely proportioned to their owners level of self esteem. This being said, part of me loves them.

Whenever I'm around people it causes me to feel nostalgic for the loneliness that drove me into their presence in the first place.

It may not be in the constitution, but every American has a god-given right to provinciality and ignorance.

The Middle East is America's 'champagne room'. No matter how much you spend, you will still never get what you want.

The rift between culture and pop-culture has never been greater.