E.W. Kenyon Quotes

Not that I’ve ever feared a fight or backed down from one –(Wren) That’s the truth. I swear he’s half beta fish. He’d fight his own reflection to prove a point. (Maggie)

Screw reality. It don’t feed my dog. It don’t make my Porsche payments. It don’t get me laid. Bullshit does that…and I like it that way. (Leo)

You know, if my life was a horse, I’d shoot it. (Susan)

I mumble hocus-pocus and the next thing you know, I’m a cat. (Ravyn) I suppose it’s a step up. The last guy I had in my house could only turn into a beer-drinking pig. (Susan)

You know I can’t go out there. There’s daylight outside. (Ravyn) Well, that’s what happens when the big yellow ball comes up over the mountains. Amazing isn’t it? (Susan)

Uh-huh. You know with that sinister tone you should look into working for the IRS. I’m sure they’re desperate for people who can cow others with a single growl. (Susan)

What? Had a dry spell of killing people lately? (Susan) As a matter of fact, yes. If it doesn’t end soon, I might get out of practice. (Otto)

Looks like I’m going to ruin your day, Big Boy. I choose to live my crappy life a little longer. (Susan)

In essence, we’re their servants who help them and who guard them from the public. (Leo) Oh gee, golly, goodie, Mr. Leo! Can I have my eyes gouged out, too? (Susan)

These are used solely for Blood Rites. (Leo) Is that like special ed? (Susan)

I’m assuming those are Daimons. (Susan) No, they’re Avon ladies. (Ravyn)

Yes, and for the record, he thinks you’re insane, too. (Otto) Oh, goodie. But I guess that’s only fair since I think he’s psychotic. (Susan)

Kitten, when did you get so tall? (Ravyn) I grew while you were in the bathroom. (Erika)

And they choose our mates. (Ravyn) So what do they do? Jump here on earth, tap you on the shoulder, and say, ‘Hey, bub, marry her’? (Susan)

Is the life you seek to take worth the one you could one day create? (Savitar)

Is there a point to your latest irritation, Kish? (Sin) Had a sudden death wish. Felt the deep need to come up here and have you freeze me. (Kish)

Lady, right now you could tell me to throw myself under a bus to make you happy, and I’d oblige you. (Xypher)

Was it like this? (Jesse) (Jesse made an inhuman ghost noise.) That sounds like Darth Vader choking on a chicken bone. (Gloria)

You know it doesn’t work that way, T. I have to be touching the body or something that belonged to the victim. Photos only give me a paper cut…and the willies. (Simone)

I just love the gifts you bring me for lunch. Other girls get diamonds. Me? I get mayhem and blood – and all before noon. Thanks, Tate. (Simone)

Have you ever wanted to put your head in a blender and turn on the liquefy switch? (Tate)

I’d rather have my eyes gouged out. (Urian) If I do that, can the Simi eat them? (Simi) You have to share if you do! (Xirena)

It’s been a whole day since I last killed someone, and I’m getting antsy. (Maxis)

You’re not worth the salt in my tears or the brain power it would take me to even conjure your face. (Aiden)

Humans are capable of so much creativity and goodness and at the same time they are destructive and cruel. (Leta)

She’s special. We used to unleash her on ancient battlefields just to see soldiers chop their best friends into pieces before falling on their own swords. (Deimos)

I can’t believe you cheated! (Phobos) I can’t believe you didn’t know it. Man, what kind of god are you? I never knew stupidity had a divine representative. Guess I was wrong, huh? (Deimos)

People will knife you in the back for a stinking crumb and then go on with their lives as if you’re nothing but a worthless roach. (Aiden)

It’s been a full week since she left and all you’ve done is sulk like a dying cow. (Kish)

You are incredibly wise. (Kat) Only when it comes to other people. It’s easy to see how to fix their lives. It’s much harder to see the cracks in your own house. (Acheron)

Don’t be stupid, Katra. Never speak in anger and never try to force your will onto someone else. You’ll never find peace in that. (Acheron)

What do you do when Mom leaves you alone like this? (Kat) I write romance novels. (Acheron)

Do you want my input or is this just an angry tirade you need to vent? (Acheron) Both! (Kat) Okay, you rant and I’ll add my comments at the end. (Acheron)

But you’re human, aren’t you? (Kat) I’m human, except when I first wake up in the morning. Even I don’t want to be around myself then. (Kish)

You know the incredible thing about hearts is their unbelievable capacity for forgiveness. You’d be amazed what people will overlook when they love someone. (Acheron)

So eager to die are you? (Zakar) Not particularly, but I’d rather go down clubbing Kessar than from boredom. (Kat)

He attacked us. What was I supposed to do? Invite him to dinner? (Sin)

Tell him what? Kat’s a raging nymphomaniac. (Kytara) Tara! (Kat) Oh, all right. She’s so bland she makes plain toast look spicy. (Kytara)

You’re so beautiful. I wish I’d seen you as a child. (Acheron) You didn’t miss much. I had buck teeth and stringy hair. (Kat)

I don’t even know what to say to you. (Acheron) Me, either. I guess we’ll just stand here and cry at each other, huh? (Kat)

Stop calling your akri your daddy. It makes my wings droop. (Xirena) My akri is my daddy. He said so and it is so, so your wings can droop all they want, ‘cause it won’t change anything! (Simi)

You were overwhelmed by my desire? What planet are you from? (Geary to Arik) Moronia. Every full moon they teleport the Morons to earth and let them loose. Consider this your first encounter. (Solin)

You two go and have fun. I have plenty of stuff here to entertain me with. Plato rocks! (Tory)

We come from a long line of people who live to read boring texts – I think it may be why we all die young. Complete boredom. (Geary)

Oh no, if you really want to be wicked to him, nuke it first. (Geary) Yeah, but given his reaction to the cupcake, that might overload his taste buds with pleasure and kill him. (Tory)

Like this cake. It’s really very good. (Arik) As the girth to my hips will attest. (Geary)

Don’t you have a girlfriend or family you’d rather be with? (Geary) Only Solin, and honestly, he’s not this soft. Even if he was, it’d be gross. (Arik)

I swear it on Solin’s life. (Arik) Uh, excuse me? (Solin) I would, but there’s truly no excuse for you. (Arik)

Call me Buffy. I’m even blond, but don’t ask me to wear a halter top. Or corset.

I hate you! (Artemis) Don’t keep saying that, Artie. It’s cruel to get my hopes up. (Acheron)