Ed Martin Quotes

When a couch potato is sliced up and then deep fried that is couch french fries.

Specifically in stand-up, I love jokes. I love short, structured ideas and a punchline.

Artistically, I find jokes really satisfying aesthetically, because there's something great about getting an idea down to a sentence or two.

In retrospect, everything is finite, but prospectively, there are infinite possibilities. I guess that's what makes life hopeful.

To be creative, first I need to be really organized. If my apartment's messy I need to clean it. It's like before you start doing your homework or studying for a test, you have to have a clean room.

I like shorter jokes. I like fewer words. I think the more ideas there are the, the fewer words there should be.

What I've learned about my self over the years is that I'm pretty restless. If I multitask it's probably because I have difficulty just focusing on one thing.

I don't want my wife to sleep with anyone but me, and I want to give her the same respect.

Control your generosity when dealing with a chronic borrower.

Men are men, vows are words, and words are wind.

What do we say to the Lord of Death?" "Not today.

I'm honest. It's the world that's awful.

Fire consumes, but cold preserves.

Reading. That was the sport I was good at.

You're mine," she whispered. "Mine, as I'm yours. And if we die, we die. All men must die, Jon Snow. But first, we'll live.

When treating with liars, even an honest man must lie.

I do play all the characters, when I write them, one after another. If they actually had to film me, the only one I could play would be Samwell Tarly or Hot Pie.

They say night's beauties fade at dawn, and the children of wine are oft disowned in the morning light.

...and when you’ve known me longer, you’ll learn that I mean everything I say.” “Even the lies?” “Especially the lies.

I want you to be afraid to turn the page (and to do that) you need to show right from the beginning that you're playing for keeps.

Now you know " the crow whispered as it sat on his shoulder. "Now you know why you must live." "Why " Bran said not understanding falling falling. "Because winter is coming.

If I took it away, no doubt I'd find a morningstar hidden under your pillow within a fortnight. Try not to stab your sister, whatever the provocation.

How I have yearned for the sound of your sweet voice,” Tyrion sighed to her. “How I have yearned to have that eunuch’s tongue pulled out with hot pincers,” Cersei replied.

Kill the boy, Jon Snow. Winter is almost upon us. Kill the boy and let the man be born.

A woman's life is nine parts mess to one part magic, you'll learn that soon enough...and the parts that look like magic turn out to be the messiest of all.

You are an honest and honorable man...Ofttimes I forget that. I have met so few of them in my life.

An admiral without ships, a hand without fingers, in service of a king without a throne. Is this a knight who comes before us, or the answer to a child's riddle?

And any man who must say 'I am king' is no true king at all.

I need to go where I feel loved.

As a student studying acting, I was always broke, so going to see any live theater was almost impossible.

After years of living with the coldest realities I still believe that one reaps what one sows and that to sow kindness is the best of all investments.

It is, indeed, a trial to maintain the virtue of humility when one can't help being right.

everyone old enough to have a secret is entitled to have some place to keep it.

The stress of making small talk with in-laws is called being part of a family.

Fairness does not consist so much of everybody's doing the same thing, but of everybody's being willing to do something that others don't want to do.

The etiquette question that troubles so many fastidious people New Year's Day is: How am I ever going to face those people again?

The way I choose parts is I look at the scripts... I choose a part by whether or not it challenges me.

They took one from us last time, so now we took one from them

People think about, when you sell a million records, "Oh. You must be buying Ferrari's and living in mansions." It was never really like that.

A disease of the mind, [whose] germ is the idea that one may learn that which is valuable, or in any way acquire virtue, by the process of being shown things.

I guess I'd rather be lucky than good.

I'm afraid the negative things are always the great subjects. Failure is much more interesting than success.

For myself and my loved ones, I want the heat, which comes at the speed of light. I don't want to have to hang about for the blast, which idles along at the speed of sound.

It is terrible to see someone being beaten up by the English language.

What did Nabokov and Joyce have in common, apart from the poor teeth and the great prose? Exile, and decades of near pauperism.

You cannot combine being a movie star with not being a movie star.

I think writers are excited by stupidity and bad behavior, generally.

It used to be said that by a certain age a man had the face that he deserved. Nowadays, he has the face he can afford.

The process of writing a novel begins with a pang, a moment of recognition, and a situation, a character, or something you read in a paper, that seems to go off, like a solar flare inside your head.

In the concordance of Nicola Six's kisses there were many subheads and subsections, many genres and phyla - chapter and verse, cross-references, multiple citations.