Eddie Griffin Quotes

Reading is fundamental - fun to mental.

I believe God wrote the Word in your essence. That's the genius of my Father. You are born knowing right from wrong. You don't need a book to tell you that!

If bribery is good enough for Congress, it's good enough for me.

One plus one equals three. When a man and woman marry they become one never two.

90? 110? You know. It's a Ferrari, baby - you don't do 50 in a Ferrari.

He's been on vacation for a year and month. Captain Kirk never left the helm when the Enterprise was under attack.

I think some teams shied away because of it, ... But Minnesota stuck with me and I was happy about that.

I remember riding across the Brooklyn Bridge about 12 times because they wanted me to keep up with the helicopter, and I said, "Can you have the helicopter keep up with me, my calves are burning!"

Actually it broke my heart to hear that we were going to have to part ways, ... It's a business and they had to do what they had to do.

It's definitely a relief that it's over. It's been a long season for us, with ups and downs. But we're going to put it behind us now and we've got to try and be a better team.

I think men are afraid to say that they would love to have Michelle Obama in their bed, but they think it.

It was awkward and embarrassing, but you have to go through things, ... I got through it and I'm happy it's over with and I can move forward and start playing.

My cell phone fell off my lap. I was reaching for it in the back.

Stand-up comedy is a science. Every comedian is a psychology major, naturally.

Makes no matter if I'm performing in a grocery store, you're always gonna get 150%.

We've lost a bunch on the road, I don't even know how many. It's a relief to get this one.

My favorite date movie is Scarface. There's nothing like taking a woman to see Scarface. It gets the panties off quick.

It was frustrating because I didn't do anything, ... I was at the wrong place at the wrong time, and he decided to punish me. I couldn't do anything about it.

I never wrote a joke in my life. I just get on stage and let it flow.

You have to know the human condition to get that many people to all respond at the same time to the same subject. You gotta understand humanity in order to portray it.