Eoin Colfer Quotes

We lost the crickets.

Anything else, Butler?" "The cosh, sir.

My truffles? You took them? That's just mean!

It would take less than a second for you to die. But that's quite long enough to be in mortal agony, don't you think?

We get an apartment together, and after a whirlwind courtship you marry my sister and honeymoon in Vegas.

As a child, Zaphod had been diagnosed with ADHDDAAADHD (ntm) ABT which stood for Always Dreaming His Dopey Days Away, Also Attention Deficit Hyperflactulance Disorder (not to mention) A Bit Thick.

Miss me? Bet you did ... so would I.

A fifeteen-year old, of to save the world, with faries. - Angeline Fowl

People like me, LB, the truly great ones ... we are always alone.

You display inordinate pride for someone who has completed a task which could have been performed by a lesser primate in a shorter time.

Everyone says that I have no sense of humor, then I construct a perfectly sound pun around a well-known psychological condition, and it is ignored.

Hilarious, dude. You should, like, have your own show.

Quickly, Holly," said Artemis urgently. "Follow those bubbles." Holly opened the throttle. "Now there's an order I never thought I'd hear from you.

Mulch's tongue lolled out, resting on the centaur's neck. "Mmm," he mumbled around his tongue. "Horse. Tasty" "Let's go," said Foaly nervously. "Let's go right now.

Ma was using her for-company voice. Sweet on the outside but with an underlying death threat.

Connor Broekhart was born to fly, or more accurately he was born flying.

It was calling me, that button," he offered as his excuse. "I couldn't resist." -MULCH DIGGUMS ON A HIGHLY PRESS-ABLE BUTTON-

Butler,” he called, his voice thin and childlike in the wind. “Yes, Artemis, what?” “If something goes wrong, wait for me. No matter how it looks, I will return. I will bring them all back.

Holly died without a friend to hold her hand. Artemis felt her go, another gift of the magic. He kept on counting, brushing away the tears on his cheeks.

How was your... eh... trip?" Artemis felt the sting of tears in his own eyes. "Um, eventful.

Yes, Chix, it's between us. Everyone has a right to be temporarily unstable. - Foaly

A metaphorical weight lifted from his allegorical chest and Artemis Fowl felt himself again.

Red was smiling back at me. "Ok. I'm not in trouble. But tell me your heart didn't start beating for the first time in a month." I couldn't deny it. So I didn't.

That's the last order I'll ever give you Captain. Don't you dare ignore it.

Listen to me, convict. I have not traveled all this way to listen to your war stories. So shut your trap before I shut it for you. Commander Julius Root

Boo-hoo. Help me, I'm a girl. What kind of modern woman are you? A smart one.

That was all he said, except for "Aaaeerrgghhh." Which is not really a word. But the reason that he screamed "Aaaeerrgghhh" was that Franco had bitten him savegly on the wrist.

Holly is alive,' thought Foaly 'My princess lives,'exulted Orion. 'And we're chasing a dragon

We lost the crickets," she said. "Even you can't make that sound tough." ..."I am Butler," he said with a straight-face. "Everything I say sounds tough. Now, get out of the lake, fairy.

I can't imagine what they're planning. But I can tell you two things. We won't like it, and it won't be legal.

Don’t feel bad; I regularly reduce people to unintelligible stammers.

...Hardly. A ragged apron does not a waiter make.

If it looks like a Dwarf, and it smells like a Dwarf, then it's probably a Dwarf or a latrine wearing dungerees.

I'm LEP. A captain. No rent-a-cop gnome is going to stand in the way of my orders.

She forces me to endure this ridiculous therapy, when the so-called counselors are little better than misguided do-gooders with degrees.-Artemis Fowl

Young love is common, but that doesn't mean it's not precious.

Wait, " said Butler. "Just wait, Holly. Artemis has a plan." He squinted through the green dome. "What is your plan, Artemis?"All Artemis could do was smile and shrug.

this was business.

Orion nodded, then asked, “Dwarf cheese?”“Cheese made by dwarfs.”“Oh, ” said Orion, relieved. “They make it. It’s not actually . . .”“No. What a horrible thought.”“Exactly.

Naturally, we lunatics are the kindest of the bunch.

Time to do what he did best - plot dastardly acts.

No one's ever really ready for a troll.

... even one centimetre can make an awful lot of difference when you don't have many to spare.

The thing about a diversion is that it has to be diverting.

Ambition had a price, and that price was friendship.

Who or what inspires you?""I must admit that I often read my own articles in scientific journals and inspire myself.

He had seen bigger men than he with mummy's handkerchief clutched in on hand and a bloody dagger in the other.

You still awake?' asked the anesthetist.'Nope, ' I replied.

That, as my cousin Nord would say, is where my improvised lie falls apart.

Conor, I could search the world for another swashbuckling scientist, but I doubt if I would find one like you.