Evan Quotes

The trouble with the world is that laziness is seldom curable and never fatal.

The diamond is the hardest stone -- to get.

A bright eye indicates curiosity; a black eye, too much.

All men are created equal and endowed by their Creator with a mighty urge to become otherwise.

A bureaucrat is an official who is clothed with power and whom it doesn't fit.

The most popular form of altruism is giving to others the advice you cannot use yourself.

Children grow out of childhood, but parents never grow out of parenthood.

The computer saves man a lot of guesswork, but so does the bikini.

Many a man works himself to death by burying himself in his work.

I don't like alcohol, but I still like to mess around with other stuff occasionally. I think it's important I take mushrooms and acid. They're certainly not addictive, so I can't rule that out.

You can't judge the ability of a doctor by the amount of praise the undertakers give him.

A special skill, like speaking several languages, or keeping your mouth shut in one.

The man who has a girl in every port is not a sailor but a wholesaler.

A man is known by the company he keeps, but a woman is known by the company she keeps waiting.

Communism is a form of society where the less people have to eat, the more they have to swallow.

A batch of credit cards fattens a wallet before it thins it.

[A mathematician is a] scientist who can figure out anything except such simple things as squaring the circle and trisecting an angle.

Housework is what a woman does that nobody notices unless she hasn't done it.

Some women get divorces on the grounds of incompatibility; others, on just the first two syllables.

The option of quitting has long been undervalued and underused... Quitters must not be frightened by the potentially cataclysmic outcome of a particular quit.

I constantly try to humble myself; if you don't, I'm sure the game is going to find a way to humble you.

Growing up in Vancouver, it's not like growing up in Middle America or the middle of Canada. It's a very movie town.

All things come to him who waits, but they are mostly leftovers from those who didn't wait.

Hard things are valuable; easy things are not so valuable. Reaching the mountaintop is rewarding because it is hard. If it was easy, everybody would do it.

You've gotta separate yourself from the character. It's hard... so it can make its way into your everyday life.

A credit card is a convenient device that saves you the trouble of counting your change.

The tongue is the only muscle in the human body that never gets tired [talking].

When we face uncertainty, we encourage everyone to press forward and believe in the values of the product.

Laugh and the world laughs with you; cry -- and the world laughs harder.

A hamburger by any other name costs twice as much.

The trouble with dieting is that a pound of will power takes off only an ounce of weight.

Don't tear your hair out over a woman; it'll be harder to attract the next one if you're bald.

Stupidity is a luxury and you will find time and time and time and again that those who are overwhelmingly on the left are those who can afford to be.

When laziness attacks a woman, it always avoids her tongue.

If you're not making some mistakes, it probably means you're not trying hard enough.

The man who avoids debt doesn't have to worry about avoiding his creditors.

Sometimes the unexpected happens when you don't expect a person to come up to expectations.

Conscience gets a lot of credit that really belongs to cowardice.

A husband is like a fire. He goes out when unattended.

I was always pale. And I'm glad that I can be open about my paleness now.

A bore finds it easy to start talking, and even easier to get others to stop listening.

With a braggart, it's no sooner done than said.

I also believe, without any supporting evidence, that cats are evil.

The only time a lazy man ever succeeds is when he tries to do nothing.

Diets show to what great lengths women will go so as not to go to great widths.

The only thing worse than being on the wrong side of an argument is to be on the right side with no one listening.

I think the voice does that perfectly adequately without being imitated by other instruments.

The cat: an animal that's so unpredictable, you can never tell in advance how it will ignore you the next time.

The word impossible is peculiar because if you examine it closely, you'll find that most of it is possible.

When you're a first-round pick and you get to the big leagues at 22, there's almost a sense that you've got to mature.