Evan Quotes

I need the money. People don't understand how little money you make in a band.

Washington is the place where nobody believes a rumor until it has been officially denied.

The first requisite for a good cup of coffee in the morning is to get your wife out of bed.

The little boy who goes to the store and forgets what his mother sent him for, will probably grow up to be a congressman.

Many a girl who can't dance well makes up for it during intermission.

A wedding is the formality a man has to go through before going to work for a new boss.

An instrument that sometimes expresses thought, sometimes obscures thought, but most often replaces thought.

Formerly when a man worked ten hours a day, it was called economic slavery; nowadays it is called moonlighting.

You can always tell the golfer who's winning: he's the one who keeps telling his opponent that it's only a game.

The only thing more certain than the hatred of enemies is the envy of friends.

Admiration: Our feeling of delight that another person resembles us.

Communism is a form of government under which every citizen at election time enjoys the privilege of voting Yes.

About the only time Congress conforms to the will of the people is when it decides to adjourn.

Divorce has become so easy nowadays that women have stopped crying at weddings.

The most uncommon form of intelligence is common sense.

Bureaucracy is more people doing less things, and taking more time to do them worse.

Many a wedding takes place when a man can't afford to go steady with a girl any longer.

Somebody is always doing something that somebody else said couldn't be done.

Some members of Congress ought to have their mouths taped instead of their speeches.

Don't be a hog: the only time a hog helps the community is when he dies.

There's nothing as short as short-term debt.

There's only one kind of common sense but a thousand varieties of stupidity.

A smart mother suggests that her child bring an apple to his teacher; a smarter mother suggests that he bring a couple of aspirins.

A man doesn't have vacation problems: his boss tells him when to take them, and his wife tells him where.

The chief ability of an executive should be his ability to recognize ability.

It's not the loss of life that makes the death bitter -- it's the obituaries.

The man who doctors himself with the aid of medical books, runs the risk of dying of a typographical error.

The lecturer who is full of his subject is usually very slow in emptying himself.

Everything comes to him who waits -- if he waits till it comes.

More diets start in dress shops than in doctors' offices.

A good loser is all right, but it isn't so much fun to beat him.

A woman is always ready to describe another woman as charming, but only if the other woman is not charming.

I didn't do too much. I came here (to The Magic Castle) and learned about magic. I read a book, but not his father's book. Sorry about that.

I'm happy to work. I know things have changed recently, but I tend to prefer film. I don't know what it is.

But also movies seem to like me more than television, so I don't get hired a lot for TV for whatever reason.

But the people I admire have always been people like Marlon Brando, Jack Nicholson and Jack Lemmon.

I spent a lot of hours on the baseball field doing whatever I could do to get better.

I definitely think with a lot of hard work, I can be a better player than I was last year, and hopefully, continue to raise the bar every year.

When you add a period of 25 years between the playing and the listening, then the whole question of meaning gets very complicated.

It's cool to see everybody come together and do their own thing, but there's never been any drama. I never saw any on the X-Men set, and I never saw any on the Horror Story set.

I adore Susan Sarandon, she's just so cool, and brilliant, and beautiful. I just like her whole vibe - off- and on-screen.

I think my favorite theory so far is that I am actually a robot. That's pretty great. In real life.

I feel like maybe I'm going to be in with the robots because they'll see the show [Westworld] and think I'm one of them.

I was a mess when the movie [Into the Forest] ended and I had to say goodbye. It was one of the hardest endings.

I can't say I'm one way or the other because I've honestly fallen in love with a man and I've honestly fallen in love with a woman. I don't know how you label that, it's just how it is.

The way I choose projects is based on what I think is most real and most interesting, not on what’s paying the most money or what’s most popular.

Thirty, thirty-five, forty, all had come to visit her like admonitory relatives, and all had slipped away without a trace, without a sound, and now, once again, she was waiting.

We probably release 1% of the products that we are working on.

Marketing, when done well, is about story telling.

It's amazing, if you know what you want to say, how fast it is to write.