Evan Quotes

Being funny, it turns out, is like being a bank. It's a confidence trick. As long as everyone believes in you, you are fine.

The stakes are nary a problem to me, as I do not abide by Sir Isaac's law!

But sometimes it's good to dare yourself to do the unthinkable. And rather than stand in front of an audience with no clothes on, I decided to have a go at stand-up comedy.

Reducing every issue to an argument can become stale but it's often a very good way of clarifying issues.

What is so striking about Liberia is that in a place where there is so much to be done, I have never seen so many people with nothing to do.

Mistakes are nothing to be ashamed of.

What comes with a job as a staff member of the BBC is a certain self-censoring that you get utterly used to. You don't say everything you think. You hold back on some things.

We can't do much about the length of our lives, but we can do plenty about it's width and depth.

A corporation has all the powers and privileges of an individual: all it lacks is a conscience.

A home in the country is what a city man hopes to buy and a farmer hopes to sell.

A dollar saved is a dollar earned but seldom vice versa.

All work and no pay makes a housewife.

A dictator's chief problem is keeping the stomachs of his subjects full while keeping their heads empty.

Some people would never get any exercise at all if they didn't have to walk to their cars.

Common sense is usually lack of imagination, and imagination is usually lack of common sense.

The saddest thing in life is to marry a woman who looks like a cook--and isn't.

A man picks a wife about the same way an apple picks a farmer.

In Congress the majority governs, but the minority rules.

Next time a man tells you talk is cheap, ask him if he knows how much a session of Congress costs.

To a teenager, it cannot be true love if her family approves of him.

A girl never cares who casts the first stone at her -- as long as it's a diamond

If you want to know how little your dignity is worth, take it to the pawnbroker.

Play: Work that you enjoy doing for nothing.

It's surprising how much wisdom every man possesses -- if not for his own affairs, then for the affairs of others.

You can tell a man's taste in literature by his judgment in knowing what not to read.

Many a man who goes to Las Vegas to get away from it all soon finds that Las Vegas gets it all away from him.

A homosexual is the only man who ever meets a man he would like to marry if he were a woman.

The three chief causes of divorce are men, women, and marriage.

Some men are so eager for success that they are even willing to work for it.

An actor is a man with an infinite capacity for taking praise.

Age brings wisdom to some men, and to others chess.

After wisdom comes wit.

Charm is to a woman what perfume is to a flower.

Man is the control experiment of heredity and environment; and since his heredity controls him, he tries to control his environment.

When things aren't working out for people, the end of the world seems like an easy way to wipe the slate clean.

Disaster beats stasis. Better a rolling stone than a moss-covered rock.

Go and fight every day, no matter what's happened the day before or what might happen.

Who you are as a character is kind of the foundation of everything.

Whenever I start freaking out and getting stressed, I have to remember that this is just the beginning.

The Beatles mean so much to so many people, you know? Everybody has at least one song of The Beatles that's one of their favorite songs of all time.

I'm opening the doors, I'm buying dinner. Yeah, I'm romantic.

I have many creative outlets. I sing, I like music, I like art, I paint, I draw. I like buying art. I read a lot, too. I love books. And I'm working on a clothing line, too.

I mean, in a way, Obama's standing above the country, above — above the world, he's sort of God.

Wars should be over in three days or less...and the American people must be all for it from the outset.

With grace and a keen appreciation of human nature, Nicholas Thompson has written a revealing, moving history of the Cold War through two fascinating men.

The vast majority of things are distractions, and very few really matter to your success.

We all know that Americans love their statistics - in sport, obviously. And in finance too.

Jews were asked when life begins. For them it's when they finally graduate medical school.

I think you get less takes on TV than in movies.

If one of my boys was asking me if they should go into politics, I'd say there's only one reason to go into public life and that's to help people.