F.X. Toole Quotes

I'm the most gregarious of men and love good company, but never less alone when alone.

We were in the Arabian Desert for nine months. And I was having the time of my life. It could have been an archeological expedition, a military expedition.

you can always tell employees of the government by the total vacancy which occupies the space where most other people have faces.

It's such a relief for me to sit in front of a tape recorder and not be using it to learn my lines.

When did I realize I was God? Well, I was praying and I suddenly realized I was talking to myself.

Having once been so high, humanity fell so low. What had once been dedicated to the soul was now dedicated to the sale.

I am at the moment writing a lengthy indictment against our century. When my brain begins to reel from my literary labors, I make an occasional cheese dip.

You could tell by the way he talked, though, that he had gone to school a long time. That was probably what was wrong with him.

There may be honor among thieves, but there's none in politicians.

I have no intention of uttering my last words on the stage. Room service and a couple of depraved young women will do me quite nicely for an exit.

Oh, Fortuna, blind, heedless goddess, I am strapped to your wheel,' Ignatius belched, 'Do not crush me beneath your spokes. Raise me on high, divinity.

Apparently I lack some particular perversion which today's employer is seeking.

The only exercise I take is walking behind the coffins of friends who took exercise.

with the breakdown of the medieval system, the gods of chaos, lunacy, and bad taste gained ascendancy.

Question: How do you know you're God? Answer: Simple. When I pray to him, I find I'm talking to myself.

I will not be an ordinary man, because I have a right to be extraordinary.

This liberal doxy must be impaled upon the member of a particularly large stallion.

Stop!' I cried imploringly to my god-like mind.

Jail was preferable. There they only limited you physically. In a mental ward they tampered with your soul and worldview and mind.

Irish women are always carrying water on their heads, and always carrying their husbands home from pubs. Such things are the greatest posture-builders in the world.

George Eliot is my only steady girlfriend. We go to bed together every night.

I did quite enjoy the days when one went for a beer at one's local in Paris and woke up in Corsica.

It distresses us to return work which is not perfect.

I refuse to "look up." Optimism nauseates me. It is perverse. Since man's fall, his proper position in the universe has been one of misery.

A victory? What have we won? We've won a rock in the middle of a wasteland, on the shores of a poisoned sea.

Not everyone can become a great artist; but a great artist *can* come from *anywhere*.

employers sense in me a denial of their values...they fear me. i suspect that they can see that i am forced to function in a century which i loathe.

The day before me is fraught with God knows what horrors.

And maddest of all, to see life as it is and not as it should be.

My life is a rather grim one. One day I shall perhaps describe it to you in great detail.

If you can't do something willingly and joyfully, then don't do it. If you give up drinking, don't go moaning about it; go back on the bottle. Do. As. Thou. Wilt.

When Fortuna spins you downward, go out to a movie and get more out of life.

I'm a professional and I'll do anything - a poetry reading, television, cinema, anything that allows me to act.

When my brain begins to reel from my literary labors, I make an occasional cheese dip.

Booze is the most outrageous of drugs which is why I chose it.

Oh, Fortuna, you capricious sprite!

I can't stand light. I hate weather. My idea of heaven is moving from one smoke-filled room to another.

I woke up one morning to find I was famous. I bought a white Rolls-Royce and drove down Sunset Boulevard, wearing dark specs and a white suit, waving like the Queen Mum.

Boxing is the magic of men in combat, the magic of will, and skill, and pain, and the risking of everything so you can respect yourself for the rest of your life.

I will not be a common man. I will stir the smooth sands of monotony.

Mother went out again tonight, looking like a courtesan.

Is my paranoia getting completely out of hand, or are you mongoloids really talking about me?

Do you not know that King Kong the first was just three foot six inches tall? He only came up to Faye Wray's belly button! If God could do the tricks that we can do he'd be a happy man!

I tell my children to avoid theatre and go into cinema and TV.

There's a remedy for everything except death.

People're artists they're doing something, taking a hunk of chaps, giving it some order, some form, and presenting it saying here is my little song and dance, my chaos.

I mingle with my peers or no one, and since I have no peers, I mingle with no one.

Canned food is a perversion,' Ignatius said. 'I suspect that it is ultimately very damaging to the soul.

Always a bridesmaid never a bride my foot!

If man ever comes to perfect equilibrium with the environment, we'll all be redundant, perhaps because you won't need art or letters.