Florence King Quotes
If you ever meet someone who cannot understand why solitary confinement is considered punishment, you have met a misanthrope.
I wasn't used to children and they were getting on my nerves. Worse, it appeared that I was a child, too. I hadn't known that before; I thought I was just short.
If we define a misanthrope as 'someone who does not suffer fools and likes to see fools suffer,' we have described a person with something to look forward to.
The more immoral we become in big ways, the more puritanical we become in little ways.
God may have loved the common people, but a trip to any shopping mall suggests that He made far too many of them.
Golf is an exercise in Scottish pointlessness for people who are no longer able to throw telephone poles at each other.
I have a professional acquaintance whose recent eyelid job has left her with a permanent expression of such poleaxed astonishment that she looks at all times as if she had just read one of my books.
American couples have gone to such lengths to avoid the interference of in-laws that they have to pay marriage counselors to interfere between them.
I'm for prayer in the schools because ritual and ceremony are calming and civilizing, and the little fartlings should be tamped down whenever possible.
Insecurity breeds treachery: if you are kind to people who hate themselves, they will hate you as well.
The witty woman is a tragic figure in American life. Wit destroys eroticism and eroticism destroys wit, so women must choose between taking lovers and taking no prisoners.
Of all the old maid's blessing, the greatest is carte blanche. Spinsterhood is powerful; once a woman is called "that crazy old maid" she can get away with anything.
Kings and queens might do wicked things, but they don't nag. One thing I like about Bloody Mary: she never said a word about lung cancer.
If whisky or salt won't cure it, then to hell with it. I worry about important things.
Southerners have a genius for psychological alchemy...If something intolerable simply cannot be changed, driven away or shot they will not only tolerate it but take pride in it as well.
Animal rights activists gives disillusioned feminists an excuse to go back to being women protecting wee creatures without compromising their radical credentials
There's no national glue holding us together because somebody put too much pluribus in the unum.
During the feminist seventies men were caught between a rock and a hard-on; in the fathering eighties they are caught between good hugs and bad hugs.
Americans worship creativity the way they worship physical beauty - as a way of enjoying elitism without guilt: God did it.
It's the Government's job to print the money, deliver the mail and declare war. Now give me my cigarettes.
In social matters, pointless conventions are not merely the bee sting of etiquette, but the snake bite of moral order.
Gradually my whole concept of time changed until I thought of a month as having twenty-five days of humanness and five others when I might just as well have been an animal in a steel trap.
Time has lost all meaning in that nightmare alley of the Western world known as the American mind.
He travels fastest who travels alone, and that goes double for she. Real feminism is spinsterhood.
Showing up at school already able to read is like showing up at the undertaker's already embalmed: people start worrying about being put out of their jobs.
The copyeditor I drew was a brachycephalic, web-footed cretin who should have been in an institution learning how to make brooms.
There is more sexism in a year's worth of movies than actually exists in a woman's entire lifetime.
I've always said that next to Imperial China, the South is the best place in the world to be an old lady.
Chinks in America's egalitarian armor are not hard to find. Democracy is the fig leaf of elitism.
We worship education but hate learning. We worship success but hate the successful. We worship fame but hate the famous.
I don't mind being regarded as perverted and unnatural, but I would die if people thought I was a Democrat.
Let's bring back grandmothers! A real family consists of three generations. It's time Americans stopped worrying about interference and being a burden on the children and regrouped under one roof.
Oppressed people are treacherous for the simple reason that treachery is both a means of survival and a way to curry favor with one's oppressor.
because the theater lost a Barrymore every time a Southerner decided not to go on the stage, just about anything that comes out of a Southern mouth is bound to be a ringing line.
