Frank Zappa Quotes

A mind is like a parachute. It doesn't work if it is not open.

The universe consists of 5% protons, 5% neutrons, 5% electrons and 85% morons.

There are only two things to remember. Number one...Don't Stop, and number two...Keep Going!

The most important thing to do in your life is to not interfere with somebody else's life.

Power will be maintained by the groovy guy or gal who gets the most media coverage for his sleaze. Naturally, his friends in various businesses will do okay, too.

Republicans stand for raw, unbridled evil and greed and ignorance smothered in balloons and ribbons.

Without deviation from the norm, progress is not possible.

Republican is fine, if your a millionaire. Democrats is fair, if all you own is what you wear. Neither of them's really right, cause neither of them care.

The United States is a nation of laws: badly written and randomly enforced.

It gets harder the more you know. Because the more you find out the uglier everything seems.

Information is not knowledge. Knowledge is not wisdom. Wisdom is not truth. Truth is not beauty. Beauty is not love. Love is not music. Music is THE BEST.

Reality is what it is, not what you want it to be.

The last election just laid the foundation of the next 500 years of Dark Ages.

I'm not black, but there's a whole lot of times I wish I could say I'm not white.

A wise man once said, never discuss philosophy or politics in a disco environment.

Interviewer: 'So Frank, you have long hair. Does that make you a woman?' Frank Zappa: 'You have a wooden leg. Does that make you a table?

There's a big difference between kneeling down and bending over.

As far as rearing children goes, the basic idea I try to keep in mind is that a child is a person. Just because they happen to be a little shorter than you doesn't mean they are dumber than you.

A composer is a guy who goes around forcing his will on unsuspecting air molecules, often with the assistance of unsuspecting musicians.

You can't always write a chord ugly enough to say what you want to say, so sometimes you have to rely on a giraffe filled with whipped cream.

All the good music has already been written by people with wigs and stuff.

Without deviance from normality, there can be no progress.

I never set out to be weird. It was always other people who called me weird.

The only difference between a cult and a religion is the amount of real estate they own.

Watch out where the Huskies go And don't you eat that yellow snow

It's better to have something to remember than anything to regret.

My best advice to anyone who wants to raise a happy, mentally healthy child is: Keep him or her as far away from a church as you can.

Politics is the entertainment branch of industry.

Their stupidity does not amaze me, its when they're smart that amazes me. It's baffling whenever you find someone who's smart - incredible. Soon you'll have zoos for such things.

Stupidity has a certain charm - ignorance does not.

Without music to decorate it, time is just a bunch of boring production deadlines or dates by which bills must be paid.

I wrote a song about dental floss but did anyone's teeth get cleaner?

Modern Americans behave as if intelligence were some sort of hideous deformity.

There is more stupidity than hydrogen in the universe, and it has a longer shelf life.

The computer can't tell you the emotional story. It can give you the exact mathematical design, but what's missing is the eyebrows.

Music is the only religion that delivers the goods.

The typical rock fan is not smart enough to know when he is being dumped on.

Look here brother, who you jivin' with that cosmik debris?

America was founded by the refuse of the religious fanatics of England, these undesirable elements that came over on the Mayflower. Ignorant, religious fanatics who land here and abuse the Indians.

There are more love songs than anything else. If songs could make you do something we'd all love one another.

You can't be a real country unless you have a beer and an airline. It helps if you have some kind of a football team, or some nuclear weapons, but at the very least you need a beer.

Take the Kama Sutra. How many people died from the Kama Sutra as opposed to the Bible? Who wins?

You know, people are basically shitty. It's when they prove it over and over again that it gets obnoxious.

I'm the devil's advocate. We have our own worshipers.

Nobody looks good with brown lipstick on.

I don't want to see any religious people in public office because they're working for another boss.

One of my favorite philosophical tenets is that people will agree with you only if they already agree with you. You do not change people's minds.

Censoring what you say is one of the ways in which people who are not nice can take away your personal freedom.

It would be easier to pay off the national debt overnight than to neutralise the long-range effects of our national stupidity

Communism doesn't work because people like to own stuff.