Frank Zappa Quotes

Roller-skates and disco are a lot of fun, I'm much too young and stupid to operate a gun.

I think pop music has done more for oral intercourse than anything else that has ever happened, and vice versa.

Just because somebody hears something you say, or reads something that you write, doesn't mean you've reached them.

There isn't anything weird about my music.

If your children ever find out how lame you really are, they'll murder you in your sleep.

Hey ugly folks, go get some cyanide and die.

Love of my life, I love you so. Love of my life, don't ever go.

There will never be a nuclear war; there's too much real estate involved.

Moving to Montana soon, gonna be a dental floss tycoon.

Did you ever consider that LSD was really one of the most dangerous drugs ever manufactured because the people who took it turned into yuppies?

I detest 'love lyrics.' I think one of the causes of bad mental health in the United States is that people have been raised on 'love lyrics.

All the old history was written for the amusement of the ruling classes. The lower classes couldn't read, and their rulers didn't care about remembering what happened to them.

Just be glad you don't live in one of those little countries where at this very moment, music is severely restricted, or as it is in Iran, totally illegal.

I think you should leave it up to the parent, because not all parents want to keep their children totally ignorant.

The NRA, with the fingers on the triggers when they kneel and pray.

Some people... some people like cupcakes Exclusively, while myself, I say, There is naught nor ought there be nothing So exalted on the face of god's grey Earth as that prince of foods... the muffin!

Unbind your mind, there is no time.

The soul of our music, The Monkees' music, lies somewhere inbetween the 1 1/2 , the 2 1/2, the 3 3/4 and th giant C-major chord on the piano!

If lyrics make people do things, how come we don't love each other?

I want a girl that can swallow my pride.

Disco boy, no one understands, but thank the lord you still got hands.

The language and concepts contained herein are guaranteed not to cause eternal torment in the place where the guy with the horns and pointed stick conducts his business

If we cannot be free, we can at least be cheap

This is a stupid song and that's the way I like it.

The ONLY thing that seems to band all nations together, is that their governments are universally bad.

I have four children, and I want them to grow up in a country that has a working First Amendment.

Find you a bridge and take a jump. Just make certain you do it right the first time, cause nothing's worse than a suicide chump.

Elvis has left the building to climb up that heavenly stair. So what if he looks like a wart-hog in heat?

I'm just one of these unpopular musicians.

My theory is that there is no word that you can say or noise that you can make with your mouth that is so horrible that it will send you to burn forever in that lake of fire! It's not gonna happen.

I hit you and I beat you and I told you that I love you.

Books Are Good For Lots Of Uses, Not For Dropping In The Toilet.

He wants to do you in cause the color of your skin.

Studied law, but not qualified to practice it.

Is this something new, having people stomp on you? Is it what I need to do for your pleasure?

I proceeded to take that mitten full of the deadly yellow snow crystals and rub it all into his beady little eyes with a vigorous circular motion.

Wisdom is not the domain of the Wiz.

Don't do speed, speed turns you in to your parents.

I ain't the type for begging, I am not the type to plead. If she don't change those evil ways, I'm gonna make her bleed.

I want a steamy little Jewish Princess with over-worked gums, who squeaks when she cums. I don't want no troll, I just want a Yemenite hole.

We was on our way to fame, got matching suits and Beatle boots.

Without "Louie Louie" a symphony is not quite so grand.

Being interviewed is one of the most abnormal things that you can do to somebody else. It's two steps removed from the Inquisition.

Sit and spin 'til you rot on the cosmic utensil.

My English teacher, he's like, he's like Mr. Bu-fu.

Call any vegetable and the chances are good that the vegetable will respond to you.

I want a hairy little Jewish Princess with a brand new nose, who knows where it goes.

She is an office girl, her name is Betty. Her favorite group is Helen Reddy.

I don't expect that Albert Gore is going to become president, and I certainly hope we never see Tipper Gore in the White House. Can you imagine Tipper saying, "Just say no"?

The people of your century no longer require the service of composers. A composer is as useful to a person in a jogging suit as a dinsoaur turd in the middle of his runway.