Frank Zappa Quotes

Information doesn't kill you.

Everything on this planet has something to do with music. Music functions in the realm of sculptured air.

Never bend over for a Christian.

It's raw, unbridled superstition for these people to claim that words can harm you.

All that we got here is American made. It's a little bit cheesy, but it's nicely displayed.

They were wearing smelly blankets, they looked like Donovan fans.

Nobody gives a crap if we're great musicians.

While your children are sleeping, your puppy is crappin'.

Well Mike, I'm abnormal.

She use to knock me out until her face broke out.

Brown shoes don't make it.

Her head is full of bubbles, her nose is petite, she looks like she never gets nothing to eat.

The lifestyle that I have is probably neither desirable nor useful to most people.

Why doncha come on over to the house and I'll show 'em to ya?

Outdoors for me is walking from the car to the ticket desk at the airport

What kind of man can name a child Moon Unit?

Donnie and Marie can both take a bite.

Journalism is kind of scary and of it we should be wary.

Michael is Janet and Janet is Michael.

Our criminal institutions are full of creeps like you who do wrong things, and many of them were driven to these crimes by the horrible force called music.

I think the anti-smoking business is a yuppie invention-an extension of the concept that "we'll always be young, rich, and healthy.

Classical music is this music that was written by a bunch of dead people a long time ago.

The price of meat has just gone up and your old lady has just gone down.

Elmer has the mentality of approximately one peanut.

She was a steady date until she put on some weight.

Hair growing out every hole in me.

I'm probably more famous for sitting on the toilet than for anything else that I do.

I think that people are entitled to be amused, and entertained. If they see deviations from this classical norm, it's probably good for their mental health.

Do your job and do it right, life's a ball, TV tonight.

Mama stroked his dinger, Daddy got stinky finger.

Nothing I've ever written has been motivated by trying to impact or influence anybody.

Am I a boy or a lady, I don't know which?

My guitar wants to kill your mama.

It's the same mysterious exotic oriental fragrance as what the Beatles get off on.

Sexual gratification can only be achieved through the use of machines.

With a tongue like a cow, she could make you go wow.

Only thirteen, and she knows how to nasty.

People like to own things.

In your dreams you can see yourself as a prophet saving the world.

He took a dog-doo snow cone and stuffed it in my right eye. He took a dog-doo snow cone and stuffed it in my other eye.

Maybe you should stay with your mama, you're kind of stupid and ugly, too.

Very few people do covers of my tunes.

Definition of rock journalism: People who can't write, doing interviews with people who can't think, in order to prepare articles for people who can't read.

If you end up with a boring miserable life because you listened to your mom, your dad, your teacher, your priest, or some guy on television telling you how to do your shit, then you deserve it.

Interviewer: 'So Frank, you have long hair. Does that make you a woman?'Frank Zappa: 'You have a wooden leg. Does that make you a table?

Well, in this world of basic stereotyping, give a guy a big nose and some weird hair and he is capable of anything.

behind each breakaway movement is a breakaway demagogue who will set up his breakaway demagogue government.

Art is making something out of nothing, and selling it.

Information is not knowledge.Knowledge is not wisdom.Wisdom is not truth.Truth is not beauty.Beauty is not love.Love is not music.Music is THE BEST.

The more you can escape from how horrible things really are, the less it's going to bother you...and then, the worse things get.