Fred Barnett Quotes
...causing her eyes to bulge and her tongue to flick from behind her luscious lips, scaring away insects." — Amok 2015
Elizabeth served herself to Vlad upon the Lazy Susan (Susan wasn’t lazy. She was actually dead." — Bats 2015
He sniffed until the long hairs of his mustache had been sucked up into his nose and out of his leafy ears." — Bats 2015
Purrrrrrrr” Elizabeth kneaded Vlad's pecs. “I hear a Kitty!” Vlad’s eyes sprung open. There was a moment of hurt, of sad. There was no kitty. “You’re teasing me!" — Bats
Elizabeth poured the brewskilicious foam over her aforementioned bodalicious huzza-huzzas and Wahwahzoozie." — Bats 2015
Gentle With Them Thar Spurs'—a sequel to 'Riders of the Purple Sau-Sage.' Spurs was the feminist novel of its day…which was Tuesday." —Bats 2015
Do it for the kids! The ones who look up to you — especially when they are pleading for their lives." — Bats 2015
She could feel something unnatural following her every movement as she washed her bountiful Huzza and Wahzoozie" — BATS
...an ambitious array of dishonorable intentions that he intended to wield upon the Countess’s nether regions. — BATS 2015
They’re dogs. Never trust a man. Even when he’s dead. Especially when he’s dead. — Bats 2015
You’re going to show up to a duel, in the street, wearing Come F—k Me Heels?" — Bats 2015
Wichtor’s been cranky ever since a fat vulture roosted on his granite Cârnat, uh, schmekel in 1864 and broke it off." — Bats 2015
I was afraid that your buns were blown all the way to the Bardot Museum in Paris, where they put them on display, and then….” Mina said, “Were they displayed like this?" —Bats 2015
Bolts of energy swirled in the air and streamed into Dave’s butt. Dave sneezed ... No. He farted through his nose.