Gabriel Iglesias Quotes

Believe it or not, I've got a really bad metabolism. One burger and I'm done. I'm not a guy that puts away 10 burgers.

I was not the popular kid in school.

People can relate to someone who isn't perfect.

I'm always ready for TV. I don't have to edit my jokes - when you work clean, you can work anywhere.

You wonder why I only talk about my personal life. But that's all I've ever done.

I was very dirty; I was a very dirty comic. There was no way I would have gotten on TV with the act I had when I first started.

I have no talent when it comes to pianos or guitars or any of that, even karaoke. For karaoke, I have to be wasted to get up there and sing.

I still come out to music that's in Spanish. There's no denying who I am, but I've just made it to where my performance is so anybody can understand it - whether you're 10 years old or 80 years old.

Now people are coming up to meet me at my shows and they're doing my bits! One guy earlier was at 7-11 and he comes up to me and goes "you want a falcon?".

I think when we stop putting labels and start worrying more about the performance, that's when you're able to cross over and make yourself a household name and go everywhere.

I did Popeye and Ronald Reagan and everybody was saying things like "yeah he's a cute little kid" but I started, little by little, telling stories about people I'd met and expanded my voices.

I love Australia. First of all, everyone is so nice. The people are down to Earth, and they like having fun with you.

Aside from producing I want to direct but I'm also going to get back out on the road.

I'm a big guy, but I'm really simple with the food. I'll hit the In-N-Out or just the regular buffets.

I wanted to be a comedian, and this is what I'm doing. If I can keep this going, I'm happy.

I see a lot of nice hotels, but I never really get to enjoy the cities, because I have to be on a plane the next day.

I started talking about things that everybody could relate to. And that's not to say I deserted my roots, I just found a way to talk about things in a broad way.

Anyone who's seen my specials knows I don't put out the same stuff twice.

For me, the hardest thing was dropping the whole Latino comic title.

That was the challenge. How can you tell the story here and make sure it goes the same way on the other side of the world?

In the beginning, yes. I didn't like it because I wanted people to know me by Gabriel Iglesias, not by Fluffy.

I think the furthest I ever got was Guitar Hero. If I could start a band like that, I think I could do it.

[ The aim to be big] is not a joke about my size. It's just that I'm a dreamer, but I'm following through with it. I believe anyone can do it as long as they focus and have a game plan.

I don't wanna just be remembered for the funniest guy in my neighborhood.

There's been a lot of guys that come out of Texas who have made it really big. So it's not a geographic thing, it's a how hard are you willing to work for it.

I got on the high school speech team and everyday I would get up in front of the class and just start talking.

By putting myself out there the way I've been doing people see me as a real person. Even though I do character voices and funny noises the stories are still real and I put them all out there.

I've got foundation jokes, the ones that got me where I am, so everything I do just builds on top of that.

There are certain bits in my act that will never change.

The girl voice is always going to kill because they don't expect it.

I talked about the stuff so openly that people are able to connect and relate. I put everything out there [into the network], and if I'm having a bad time, people know about it.

People see a big dude and they hear that high pitched voice or "Eglasias with an 'I'" and love it because they can relate and go "I know that person!".

I remember seeing Eddie Murphy RAW and seeing people laughing and having a good time and that was the same response I was getting so I thought I was on to something.

Sometimes [high school speech team] was funny, other times it was just talking, but it gave me the confidence to speak in front of people after doing that for a whole year.

I like to tell old jokes on stage after about an hour, or an hour and a half. I'll bring those old ones back because the fans love them.

I'm not selling out, denying who I am or where I've come from, not at all. I acknowledge that.

[Making people laugh] was a secret dream I kept and I didn't tell anybody about it until I was about 18.

The response you get when you're young like "oh you're just getting laughs because you're a little kid and you're cute". They weren't trying to encourage me at all or tell me to keep pursuing this.

Well, like I said, there's no reason everyone can't have a piece of the pie, even if there's a gordo there eating most of it.

I know what it's like to have a family and not have insurance and really need it. As a comic, insurance was one of those sacrifices I made early on until I could afford it.

If you Google the word "fluffy," I'm the first thing that pops up. It's me, dogs and rabbits.

People think if you have money, it'll fix the problems, but it creates different ones.

Drama is not my passion. If I do it, it's for a check. It's not what I want to do. Comedy's my thing. Stand up's my thing. Everything that comes from that is frosting on the cake.

As far as guys who perform onstage, I love Chris Rock. I'm kind of jaded on everyone else.

I want to get so famous that I don't have to wake up in the morning. It'll probably never happen.

Comedians do movies and TV so that when they tour, they sell out. That's the goal: To get popular enough so the place is packed.

I almost bought a DeLorean the other day just because. If I see something that I think is cool and I like it, I'll go for it.

I never go perform somewhere alone. I've done that since day one. I've always taken other comics with me.

I get a lot of influence from pro wrestling. People are like, 'Oh, it's fake.' But it's not about whether the guy wins or loses, it's about how he entertains you the whole time you're watching.

Drinking can bring out a dude that has some issues.