George Lopez Quotes

I didn't come from a background where I saw a lot of loving couples. All my aunts and uncles were either split up or fighting all the time. The only healthy relationships I saw were on TV.

When things are bad, it's the best time to reinvent yourself.

It's not even about black and white anymore, because so many people are from mixed backgrounds and mixed ethnicities, and it's just a great time to be able to pull all that together.

No particular race is the enemy. Ignorance is the enemy.

When I was 10 there wasnt trampolines and cartoon charaters, I never went to Chuck E Cheese! My mom said 'You wanna see a mouse pull the refrigerator Out!'

Whoever is my relative, I will not be nice to them.

We're Mexi-cans not Mexi-can'ts.

It's a great day in America when white people, black people and Latinos can all come together and pick on another minority.

I'm a big fan of reality shows. I thought the first one, Dukes of Hazzard, captured white people perfectly.

Y'know, if those pews reclined, and the priests gave the Raiders scores I'd go to church every Sunday.

if you make waffles, throw out the first one.

Tied one on last night. Not feeling great this morning. I was trying to sleep it off, unfortunately, it was on the casino floor.

I can never do nothing in this house!

We are now the proud owners of a white boy. Now we have to shop in the caucasian isle and get sunscreen, mayonaise and mild salsa because the other ones really hawt!

If laughter is the best medicine, I promise to continue to make you laugh as my wife and I work together with the National Kidney Foundation to save lives.

Immigration is an issue of global significance in America. And if you look at the terrorist alerts and attacks, Latinos [as a group] are not in the top five list [for] terror alerts.

At the factory, I deal with ex-cons, substance abusers, and sexual harassers. And I'm not just talking about my mom.

A Dodger uniform just doesn't look good with a cummerbund.

Life is moments going by, but if you don't grab them, they're gone. For a long time, the only moments that were available were bad ones. So now I make sure to grab the good ones.

This is L.A. You wanna learn Spanish? Take the bus.

It was June 4, 1979, the first time I went on stage. I didn't know I could do it but I knew I couldn't not do it. I quit everything in my life and this was the one thing I couldn't quit.

I prefer my Mexican food to have a little bit of an animal that suffered a little bit. That's some of the best food.

Max: What's a period? George: It's a bullet we dodge, go get ready.

Sarah Palin is Latina. Pay-leen. She has an infant and a grandkid the same age. Latina!

Sometimes when you win, you think you're going to get everything to go your way.

Angie, I've seen my mom wrestle two cops to the ground with a taser dart in her neck, and you cry when your shoes pinch. Good luck, Bambi!

We need to get better at voting and be a voice for the people who do not have one.

I never realized I could love people as much as I do now.

I think we all feel the same things most of the time, we just don't know how to put it into words. When I'm on stage, I say it. The truth makes people laugh.

Shows should just be able to be shows without hyphenating their lead characters.

Making a movie about one group of people isolates the larger majority. That's what I require of the projects that I'm involved with. I would not ever make a movie strictly for Latinos.

I got a pain in my chest, and I can't breathe

When you go to cable, there are no stations and no affiliates and they allow you to do your show

I'm not afraid to take on somebody or say something that somebody will find offensive because unfortunately in comedy, you can't say anything really good without offending somebody.

Finally there is someone that you can invest in that looks like you, speaks like you, relates to things you relate to, and make our culture okay to talk about.

You're never going to be a Yankee for a day, or you're never going to be a Laker, but with Pro-Ams, they allow you to feel like you're a professional golfer and play under their conditions.

As long as you're a tax deduction, you'll always be safe in my house.

Presents? We already bought you a lot of things. Member when we were at the market and I bought you gum? You'member.

Barack Obama may be black, but John McCain is the first Albino presidential candidate: he's completely see-through!

I've spent days in cinemas answering questions from the audience, in interviews, travelling abroad, and all they do is thank me nicely.

David Letterman is the best late-night talk show host right now, hands down, and has been since he first took the desk.

I'd love to have Michael Jackson [in my show] because he's black and white. So he would appeal to a universal demographic.

It's an honor to walk in the footsteps of a legend. As host I intend to honor the tradition of The Bob Hope Classic and have a great time blazing a new path.

I look at movies, unfortunately, and I still see a lot of movies [lacking diversity].

I believe that there are certain things that could be taken care of that you don't need a strong political background in.

I spend a lot of time alone and my wife understands that I need to be alone. I enjoy being alone. But I'm never lonely.

An animal has to suffer for us old-school Latinos to get what we want.

We're Mexican not Mexican't!

I've gotten in trouble with every race you can imagine.

I have dogs in my house and much like teenagers at some point, they leave the parents. Even though they're in the same house, they live independently. I think that's how I live with the Chihuahuas.