Greg Behrendt Quotes

A man who wants to make a relationship work will move mountains to keep the woman he loves

If I had butterscotch pants and a cheetah sweater... I'd be just fine.

Don’t spend your time on and give your heart to any guy who makes you wonder about anything related to his feelings for you

We (men) would rather lose an arm out a city bus window than tell you simply, “You’re not the one.” We are quite sure you will kill us or yourself or both—or even worse, cry and yell at us.

Don't you want the guy who'll forget about all the other things in his life before he forgets about you?

Let's call cheating what it is: a complete betrayal of trust.

Personally, when I'm picking friends, I like the ones who don't make me cry myself to sleep.

It is with great sadness and a heavy heart that have to announce that I ate kale and liked it.

The pain of being in a bad relationship is confusing. When it's over - it's over. No more confusion!

Alone also means available for someone outstanding.

Breakups hurt like a motherf*#ker, but they are not the end of the world. The pain is temporary, and if handled properly, they can even be life-changing.

He's just not that into you if he's not asking you out. Because if he likes you, trust me, he will ask you out.

The quickest way to rectify that mistake (choosing the wrong person) is by learning from that, moving on, and choosing much more wisely in the future.

Anyone who assesses you or your relationship as disposable is not worthy of your time or tears.

I'm tired of seeing great women in bullshit relationships.

When it comes to men, deal with them as they are, not how you’d like them to be.

People don't admire you for what you hate, they admire you for what you do about it, and your slacks.

Because here’s what guys don’t do if they can’t live without you: They don’t break up with you.

I have less friends, but I have more Cadbury Eggs.

Sometimes people change their minds, sometimes they meet someone else, sometimes they get sober, and sometimes he was just a jerk who you're lucky to be rid of.

Be yourself. If something you do doesn't work, don't do it the next time. Listen to yourself - you know what appropriate behavior is.

As a guy I never liked being told to call, which my wife really never does, and that's why I call her as often as I do.

If you bury the pain deep down it will stay with you indefinitely, but if you open yourself to it, experience it, and deal with it head-on, you'll find it begins to move on after a while.

Often the thought of pain is actually worse that the pain itself.

Bored with the same type of misery over and over and over again.

Uncool is a cool resting place. The pressure's off me.

Being brokenhearted is like having broken ribs. On the outside it looks like nothing's wrong, but every breath hurts.

Life is hard enough as it is without choosing someone difficult to share it with.

I believe in love the verb, not the noun.

He doesn’t have to love your CD collection. He doesn’t have to love your shoes. But any good, mature guy better make an attempt to love your friends and family—especially when they’re great.

First of all, never buy a man a plasma TV until you're married. A lot of men once they have a plasma TV they don't need a girlfriend

Better than nothing is not good enough for you!

I don't have to edit myself. I get to be me, warts and all, and that's ultimately what people want, and to trust each other implicitly.

Don't waste the pretty

We have become a sloppy bunch of people. We say things we don’t mean. We make promises we don’t keep.

So, I'm 34. I'm kind of becoming an adult - kind of, I guess. But I know that I am because, the other day, I said to somebody, 'Dude, dude, don't - those are the good plates.

Trust yourself, because as Oprah says, doubt means don't every time

The only reason he can miss you is because he’s choosing, every day, not to be with you.

There's a guy out there who will want to tell everyone that he is your boyfriend. Quit goofing around and go find him.

Men, for the most part, like to pursue women. We like not knowing if we can catch you. We feel rewarded when we do. Especially when the chase is a long one.

Sometimes we become attached to what's familiar, and sometimes we hold on to things that are safe and predictable, even if they are bad for us.

I've never tried to pass myself off as anything more than a comedian who wrote a dating book.

big plans require big action

Send her a quick note while you're stuck in a long meeting. A lighthearted chat definitely makes the time go faster.

The day you realize you don't have to make sense to anyone is the day you start to make sense to you.

When a guy is into you, he lets you know it. He calls, he shows up, he wants to meet your friends, he can't keep his eyes or hands off of you.

There's a guy out there who's going to be really happy that you didn't get back together with your crappy ex-boyfriend.

Turning a breakup into a break-over ... We want women to know that as bad as it can be, it can also be an opportunity to reinvent yourself.

Lying, cheating, hiding is the exact opposite of the behavior of a man who's really into you.

Wasting time with the wrong person is just time wasted.