Heather McDonald Quotes

Lobster is not going to be as tasty with ice tea unless that ice tea is from Long Island.

I remember I was in music class, I was a senior in high school, and my music teacher was like, "You should be a stand-up comic, you could imitate anyone.

My dad always said to go for my hobby and used to commend me for my excellent judgement so i try to do the similar for my children.

In my day we used to have pray to run into an ex looking great, but now you just post a selfie in your underwear.

God did not put you on this earth simplest to be any person's mom.

I thought that unless people know me, they wouldn't find me funny.

My music teacher told me that she didn't even know why I was going to college - I should be a stand-up.

The most important thing as a comic and a creator is to have a robust standpoint.