Henry Cloud Quotes

We change our behavior when the pain of staying the same becomes greater than the pain of changing. Consequences give us the pain that motivates us to change.

A good test of a relationship is how a person responds to the word 'no.' Love respects 'no,' control does not.

When you encourage someone, it literally changes their brain chemistry to be able to perform... sends fuel to the brain.

The human heart will seek to be known, understood, and connected with above all else. If you do not connect, the ones you care about will find someone who will.

In the end, as a leader, you are always going to get a combination of two things: what you create and what you allow.

Boundaries are basically about providing structure, and structure is essential in building anything that thrives.

The fool tries to adjust the truth so he does not have to adjust to it.

Whatever's happening today, remember it is only ONE SCENE in a long movie. Don't treat it like it's the whole story. Keep writing the story.

Leadership is not taken, it is given. People give leadership to those that they trust. They allow people that they trust to have influence over their lives.

Consequences give us the pain that motivates us to change.

We all make mistakes, but the people who thrive from their mistakes are the successful ones.

The mature person meets the demands of life, while the immature person demands that life meet her demands.

You will not grow without attempting to do things you are unable to do.

Dont use all-or-nothing thinking. Take each day as its own day, and dont worry about it if you mess up one day. The most important thing you can do is just get back up on the horse.

The sad thing is that many of us come to Christ because we are sinners, and then spend the rest of our lives trying to pretend that we are not!

The opposite of bad is not good.The opposite of bad is love

You have to be able to face losing some things you might want in order to be free to do the right thing.

Love can only exist where freedom and responsibility are operating.

If you want to become healthy, you have to surround yourself with a group of people that are getting healthy and you have to be connected to a community that is doing what you want to do.

If people are really narcissistic or have a need to be seen as more than they really are, or to be admired as having it all together, then they cannot be followed and trusted by others.

For someone's character to grow, it has to be free from internal attack. Falling down never stopped children from developing. But getting yelled at, criticized, and put down can stop them for life.

There is a difference between solitude and isolation. One is connected and one isn't. Solitude replenishes, isolation diminishes.

When truth presents itself, the wise person see the light, takes it in, and makes adjustments. The fool tries to adjust the truth so he does not have to adjust to it.

Encourage literally came from "in courage." The courage is put "into" you from outside. Our character and abilities grow through internalizing from others what we do not possess in ourselves.

Be Hard on the issue, Soft on the person.

True intimacy is only build around the freedom to disagree.

The physicality of a real relationship - one that encompasses mind, body and soul - ultimately makes it more fulfilling and powerful than any virtual relationship ever could be.

A person who hasn't grieved a significant loss has unfinished business inside and can cause others great grief as a result.

To get greater than 100% return on a growth step, give up defensiveness. Defensiveness stifles performance, and destroys relationships.

Faith goes beyond reason. It goes beyond what you can see. But it is as real as anything you can touch or feel.

Spouses in healthy relationships cherish each other's space and are champions of each other's causes.

When leaders lead in ways that people's brains can follow, good results follow as well.

The extent to which two people in a relationship can bring up and resolve issues is a critical marker of the soundness of a relationship.

The natural response to evaluation is to feel judged. We have to mature to a place where we respond to it with gratitude, and love feedback.

Diligence is not easy, but we can't reach our goals without it.

It is true that you get what you tolerate.

Dating is about finding out who you are and who others are. If you show up in a masquerade outfit, neither is going to happen.

Successful people stick to what they are good at and find ways to make that larger.

Confronting an irresponsible person is not painful to him; only consequences are.

To rescue people from the natural consequences of their behavior is to render them powerless.

Couples often live out years of falsehood trying to protect and save a relationship, all the while destroying any chance of real relationship.

The amount of truth a relationship can handle is proportional to the amount of perceived love that's present.

Anger is frustration at the fact that we are not God, and do not have control over reality.

We have our own thoughts, and if we want others to know them, we must tell them.

Good pain is pain in the service of a purpose. Bad pain is pain endured because we are resisting a needed growth step.

We need rest not just so we feel better. We need rest for actual creation of what we're going to need the next day.

Some goals are not going to fulfill you. Choose goals that you value and care about.

Values are sometimes worth living and dying for, and are certainly worth dating and breaking up over.

Independence is not an option for us. Remember, God existed without us.

Who a person is will ultimately determine if their brains, talents, competencies, energy, effort, deal-making abilities, and opportunities will succeed.