Ilona Andrews Quotes

The human body is an amazing organism. It can go from dead tired to completely alert in a terrified blink.

He bared his teeth in a happy feral grin. My own personal psycho.

Is that a lion with horns and a pitchfork?" "Yep." "Is he carrying the moon on his pitchfork?" "Nope it's a pie.

I sighed and put Slayer between the front seats. "Stay here. Guard the car." Saiman shut the door. "Is the sword sentient?" "No. But I like to pretend it is.

Your date appears to be hysterical," Rene told me. "You think I should slap some man into him?

He groaned and I saw his face. "Curran!" I would've preferred a homicidal lunatic. Oh, wait...

He joked while Dali cut him, mangling the words with his monstrous jaws, snarled with a pretended rage and dramatically promised to "kirrrl youraaalll for this!

I've read your summary." "And?" "It's not incompetent." Be still, my heart, so I don't faint from such faint phrase. "Did you expect it to be written in crayon?

The first magic wave kicked the world in the face.

Kate Daniels, trained negotiator. When in possession of some valuable information, give it away to the first sexy man you see with no guarantee of return.

I lied. I need your help." "Who are we killing?" "Do you have a pen?

I gave him my hard stare. “You're a control freak and I fight all authority. And you want us to mate?” A wicked spark lit his eyes. “Many, many times.

"Amy," Elsie Moore said in her crackling voice, her gaze fixed on Declan. "I want you to get me a new bear. A blond one."

On your best day, you're only as good as I am on my worst with one arm tied behind my back.

You're problem is, you underestimate me because I'm a woman.

You said sloppy! Look, I didn't even use my sword; I hit him with my head, like a moron.

I wouldn't be able to do anything with my vampire horde except make it run around in a herd, but it would be a very impressive herd.

You know anything about investigative work?" "Sure. Annoy the people involved until the guilt party tries to make you go away.

It was the kind of place you went when your earthly troubles became too much for you and you were looking for a creative way to commit suicide.

What kind of shapeshifter has orange fur anyway?" "Weredingo." Now I'd seen everything. Well, at least he didn't steal my baby.

One day I'll kill him, you know. I glanced at her. She was deadly serious.

The sight of me puffing and straining apparently amused him to no end.

If he full-out flexed, I would probably faint, or jump off the building.

I did deranged quite well, when the occasion called for it.

I'm a substitute mom." "You're more like a crazy aunt who only gets called when somebody needs bailing out of jail.

If I lose control, you'll be the first to know." "I'm quite perturbed by the idea.

I had the metabolism of a hummingbird on crack.

A ghastly attempt at a smile, sure to send any normal person to a therapist.

Perhaps I just wasn't scary enough. Maybe I should invest in some horns or fangs.

You don't cause problems. You cause catastrophes.

Wanna spot me?" "No thanks. How about I just scream verbal encouragements at you?

On a scale from one to ten, the Pack was eleven and everything else a one.

The Order of Merciful Aid provided merciful aid, usually on the edge of a blade or the burn of a bullet.

What would I do without the moral compass of a teenage werewolf.

We were screwed and he didn't even kiss us first.

If my luck held, it wouldn't be a handsome Greek demigod looking for the love of his life or at least his love of a couple of hours.

Just to make sure the odd humanoid aberration doesn't get away, always pin it through the nuts.

He said 'woman' in the same way I'd say 'Mmmm, yummy chocolate.

The kind of eyes that jumped from a woman's dreams right into her morning and made trouble in the marriage bed.

Shave that jaw, brush that hair, tone down the crazy in the eyes, and he would have to fight women off with that crossbow.

I prefer the term ‘sexual deviant’ myself,” Saiman said.

Ted said, "You're working for the Order now." "Yes." "How does it feel?" "Well, Doctor, it feels rather sore and tingly.

Rene looked at Grendel. “What in the world is that?” “That’s our mutant attack poodle,” I told her. “Is he chewing on a gun?

I saved the baby. I saved her. For you." - Bran

I’d give him a cup of coffee and a big helping of a knuckle sandwich. Generosity was a virtue and I was in the mood to be extremely virtuous.

If a man takes you to a restaurant of his choosing, don’t compliment him. Rave about the quality of the food and he’ll be thrilled, because he took you there.

The kid was so handsome, he almost looked unreal.

At the core, our motives are always self-serving, Kate. Altruism is a fog created by sly minds seeking to benefit from the energy and skill of others. Nothing more.

Yep.” Eloquence ’R’ Us. When in trouble, keep it monosyllabic—safer that way.

As one, the shapechangers turned and looked at me. I wondered what they'd do if I asked to borrow a cup of sugar.