Irvin S. Cobb Quotes

Middle age: when you begin to exchange your emotions for symptoms.

To be born in Kentucky is a heritage; to brag about it is a habit; to appreciate it is a virtue.

Until you go to Kentucky and with your own eyes behold the Derby, you ain't never been nowhere and you ain't seen nothin'!

If I wanted to go crazy I would do it in Washington because it would not be noticed

If writers were good businessmen, they'd have too much sense to be writers.

You couldn't tell if she was dressed for an opera or an operation.

I've just learned about his illness. Let's hope it's nothing trivial.

Men are vain; but they won't mind women working so long as they get smaller wages for the same job.

A funeral eulogy is a belated plea for the defense delivered after the evidence is all in.

If a woman likes another woman, she's cordial. If she doesn't like her, she's very cordial.

As I understand it, sport is hard work for which you do not get paid.

Humor is merely tragedy standing on its head with its pants torn.

A woman may have a witty tongue or a stinging pen but she will never laugh at her own individual shortcomings.

An epitaph is a belated advertisement for a line of goods that have been permanently discontinued.

You had to hate the Colonel a whole lot to keep from loving him.

Golf - a young man's vice and an old man's penance.

I've just learned about his illness let's hope it's nothing trivial.

If a woman likes another woman she's cordial. If she doesn't like her she's very cordial.

A good storyteller is a person who has a good memory and hopes other people haven't.