J. Green Quotes

Right, except I'm not going to lie to my mom, because what kind of (man) lies to his own mother?

Nerdighters make me believe in America again.

I'm at the eye doctor. I'm always at the eye doctor. It's like this is my profession. I am no longer a writer, I'm now an optomoligical patient. By the way, this job doesn't pay well.

Nerdfighter pwns woot. Everyone knows that.

I don't have a favourite book, I have hundreds.

I have two kinds of Facebook friends: Those who know what 'DFTBA' means, and those who don't.

You can't not like "The Great Gatsby." It's got the best sentences in, like, ever.

It's hard to get movie studios to pay a lot of money for movies that don't have robots or explosions.

For a moment, she was quiet. Then she grabbed my hand, whispered, “Run run run run run,” and took off, pulling me behind her.

And in my classes, I will talk most of the time, and you will listen most of the time. Because you may be smart, but I've been smart longer.

If drunk were cookies, I'd be Famous Amos

Not to ask the obvious question, but why Alaska?

Keys show up when you reconcile yourself to the bus.

That feeling of finishedness does not come all at once, and it is not easily won, but I think once you get there it is hard to go back.

Colin's skin was alive with the feeling of connection to everyone in that car and everyone not in it. And he was feeling not-unique in the very best possible way.

Because you're only thinking they-might-not-like-me-they-might-not-like-me, and guess what? When you act like that, no one likes you.

We're not going to break anything. Don't think of it as breaking in to SeaWorld. Think of it as visiting SeaWorld in the middle of the night for free.

I shaved this morning for precisely that reason. I was like, 'Well, you never know when someone is going to clamp down on your calf and try to suck out the snake poison.

You can say a lot of bad things about Alabama, but you can't say that Alabamans as a people are duly afraid of deep fryers.

You're awfully philosophical for a girl that just got busted.

Nothing really mattered that much, not the good things and not the bad ones. We were in the business of mutual amusement, and we were reasonably prosperous.

…God, it’s over. Takumi, you gotta stop stealing other people’s problems and get some of your own.

I said nothing—I hadn’t known Marya, and anyway, “listening quietly” was my general social strategy

Ashes to ashes. Garage sale to garage sale,” I said.

Those of us who frequent the band room have long suspected that Becca maintains her lovely figure by eating nothing but the souls of kittens and the dreams of impoverished children.

You know what I hate? The outdoors. I mean, generally. I don't like outside. I'm an inside person. I'm all about refrigeration and indoor plumbing and Judge Judy.

For she had embodied the Great Perhaps--she had proved to me that it was worth it to leave behind my minor life for grander maybes, and now she was gone and with her my faith in perhaps.

It is worth it to leave behing my minor life for grander maybes.

Was it animal pee or human pee? Someone asked. How would I know? What, am I an expert in the study of pee?

I thought you hung the moon.

Sometimes I don't get you,' I said. She didn't even glance at me. She just smiled toward the television and said, 'You never get me. That's the whole point.

So why don't you go home for vacations?' I asked her. I'm just scared of ghosts, Pudge. And home is full of them.

Meriwether Lewis's last words were, 'I am not a coward, but I am so strong. So hard to die.' I don't doubt that it is, but it cannot be much harder than being left behind.

By the way, I've decided to start referring to myself exclusively as 'Daddy.' Everytime Daddy would otherwise say 'I' or 'Me,' Daddy is now going to say 'Daddy.

I have never really thought of him as a person, either.... A guy whose strings were broken, who didn’t feel the root of his leaves of grass connected to the field, a guy who was cracked. Like me.

Remember that time in the minivan, twenty minutes ago, when we didn't die?

By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!

We imagine people as animals or gods. -But she was just a person, a girl.

High school is neither a democracy nor a dictatorship - nor, contrary to popular belief, an anarchic state. High school is a divine-right monarchy. And when the queen goes on vacation, things change.

Shame about how we’re gonna die here, though. I mean, seriously. An Arab and a half-Jew enter a store in Tennessee. It’s the beginning of a joke, and the punch line is “sodomy’’.

We didn't talk much. But we didn't need to.

Alaska decided to go help Dolores with dinner. She said that it was sexist to leave the cooking to the women, but better to have good sexist food than crappy boy-prepared food.

A novel is a conversation between a reader and a writer.

We Play the broken string of our instruments one last time

I never liked writing concluding paragraphs to papers - where you repeat what you've already said with phrases like 'In summation', and 'To conclude'.

I expertly angled my raison bran to accomodate the g-forces.

I mean, if Hardee's is urban, I'm not sure I want to see rural.

Abligurition: an actual, if very obscure, English word, which means the spending of too much money on food.

We acknowledge that being the person God made you cannot separate you from God's love.

Tiny Cooper is splayed out across the thin carpet, using his backpack as a pillow. He’s wearing skinny jeans, which look very much like denim sausage casings.