J.L. Carr Quotes

Art is an aspect of God and there is only one God, but different people see Him in different ways. Though He is always the same He doesn't always look the same.

If you go on stage with the wrong attitude, or something in your performance is off, you can lose an audience in the first minute. That first minute is crucial.

Tyranny is like the electric wiring in an old house. A tyrant dies, the new tyrant takes possession, and all he has to do is drop the switch.

[The Front Page] is still full of peppy banter as it sends its seedy knights after cheap scoops.

You are amazing. A true light warrior and this world certainly needs you.

I was not going to kick back and wait for the unknown. I was going to dive in and become a full-time healing junkie.

I love to breathe. Oxygen is sexy!

I think among the retired FBI agents there are some who would not like to see him come back, but I think the people running the FBI now are interested in catching him.

A lot of comedians, when they have a bad gig, will blame everything but themselves. They'll blame the crowd, or the room was wrong, it had a weird vibe, or the promoter promoted a weird atmosphere.

I'm just generally hugely frustrated, I'm a very, very frustrated man. I'm just a ball of pent-up frustration.

Staying in luxury hotels still gives me a kick, especially Oulton Hall in Yorkshire. I'd stay in a hotel for the breakfast and room service.

I didn't really want to be a comedian.

I still get excited about meeting celebrities, because I don't think I'm a celebrity myself.

Twenty can't be expected to tolerate sixty in all things, and sixty gets bored stiff with twenty's eternal love affairs.

I did a gig in the U.S. once for the homeless. I said 'It's nice to see so many bums on seats.'

Sometimes I'll listen to a little old Van Halen, or some Beatles, Zeppelin stuff, classical music... I like a lot of different things.

Cats have nine lives. Makes them ideal for experimentation.

Throwing acid is wrong... in some people's eyes.

I do realise that when I laugh, it sounds like a seal is being molested.

I'm not worried about the Third World War. That's the Third World's Problem.

I've got a friend whose nickname is "Shagger". You might think that's pretty cool. She doesn't like it.

Jesus loves you... He's not 'in love' with you.

You always feel when you look it straight in the eye that you could have put more into it, could have let yourself go and dug harder.

All men are born free: just not for long.

I didn't plan to be the rude middle-class comedian. You write a certain type of joke that you find funny, and mine happen to be often rude. Yes, it's juvenile, but that's me.

Love is healing. Love is comforting. Love is holy. Food can be all those things, too.

I thought my mountain was coming this morning. It was near to speaking when suddenly it shifted, sulked, and returned to smallness. It has eluded me again and sits there, puny and dull. Why?

The fact is, we need help, and we need each other.

My mountain is dead. As soon as she has dried, I'll bury her under a decent layer of white paint. But I haven't done with the old lady; far from it!

If it is made in a lab then it takes a lab to digest.

Are the people in your life inspiring you or tiring you?

While I may never be in remission from cancer, I am currently in remission from an unhealthy relationship to food.

I was asleep at the wheel before cancer shook me awake.

When you're the conscious captain in your kitchen, you'll feel better mentally and physically.

I am capable, confident, intelligent, resilient and in charge. Health and happiness are my birthrights and I accept with gratitude.

When someone close to you dies, move seats.

I've met Nicole Kidman, Elton John, loads of people.

I think if you look back through the intellectual history of human beings you can trace the way that intellectual technologies influence the way we think.

I was in love with the idea of being in love with a woman way before I was actually in love with one.

The defenders of decent society and the disciples of degeneracy are often the same people.

The definition of terrorism is killing civilians with the intent of changing their political affiliation.

I don't see myself as offending people.

I'm obsessed with TV. How wrong our parents were when they said we should only watch an hour a day. Stop wasting your time reading books.

It's interesting to think about how the book changed us.

Got a new pup. He is half griffon. The other half is mistake.

In Pizza Express you can get garlic bread with cheese and tomato. Now correct me if I'm wrong, but that's a pizza.

Writing is a strong easement for perplexity. My life is a map, spread out with all the rivers and hills showing.

Bless... the two painting masters who first pointed out to me that there was coming and going among trees, that there was sunlight in shadows.

A lot of people see doubt as legitimate philosophical posture. They think of themselves in the middle, whereas of course really, they're nowhere.

Gut health is the key to overall health.