J.M. Williams Quotes

Shooting in New York is the shiznit, if I may be so bold. It was great. New York is a character. People who live here know that.

A place where we all go can't be bad.

I'm a very tolerant man, except when it comes to holding a grudge.

Sometimes, keeping track of people. It's always a weird combination of worrying so much about the outside world, and not... you have to be more aware of the inner circle, the folks that matter.

If there was a pill that allowed you to drink and not get drunk, an alcoholic would go "What happens if you take two?"

For a while you get mad, then you get over it.

In America, they really do mythologize people when they die.

What's true in our minds is true, whether some people know it or not.

On rides you see things that trigger ideas. And most the time it's just not doing anything but riding ... letting it all go.

What's my credibility? Why are they looking to me for advice? Isn't there someone more qualified?

It doesn't matter who you are, if you've got the legs, you can hang with them.

On stage you're free. You can say and do things that if you said and did any place else, you'd be arrested.

I don't have a college degree, and my father didn't have a college degree, so when my son, Zachary, graduated from college, I said, "My boy's got learnin'!"

I play a lot of computer games. I love computer graphics. I've had Pixar in me for a long time.

Stand-up is the place where you can do things that you could never do in public.

It's that idea that you can have one drink - and no you can't. Within a week I was drinking heavily. It was so quick that even I was like, 'Wow.'

When you have a great audience, you can just keep going and finding new things.

The only weapon we have is comedy.

Crying never helped anybody do anything, okay? You have a problem, you face it like a man.

Mr. Keating: Carpe Diem! Sieze the day!

I was a serious method actor until I visited this site.

It is hard to find something where you can go off as much as I do in stand-up, but I think stand-up allows me that freedom where you can really go off and have a good time.

Women are incredibly intuitive. If anybody on the planet is going to evolve to the next level, that telekinetic thing, women will.

Men may have wars, but women have their period. Men go off and kill each other, but women say nasty things, which is even better.

It was kind of a decompression - from straight alcohol to mixed drinks to wine to spritzers - and then you're out.

My father retired to San Francisco, and I got a chance to know him and be around him. It's always been someplace where everything changed for the better. It's always been a home for me.

My first day as a woman and I am already having hot flushes

Comedy pays the bills if I can't find a film.

I had one or two steady girlfriends in high school, but then in college, it was three, four... I went crazy. At one point I had three separate girlfriends, running around mad.

Women are wonderful. They're amazing creatures. You can never learn enough! They're addicting in the most amazing sense.

With a bike you go from zero to a hundred in terms of mobility.

That's the formaldehyde. That's why Granny's so well-preserved.

If you're going to do a movie about the Village, it's pretty nice to shoot in the village and not be in Toronto.

What kind of man gives cigarettes to trees?

You'd think all of these "atypical" somethings would add up to a typical something

My preference is live performance, because you get the feedback. There's an energy. It's live theater. That's why I think actors like that.

My comedy is like emotional hang-gliding.

If we were interested in making money, we wouldn't have become teachers.

Shakespeare said, "Kill all the lawyers." There were no agents then.

Women have so many levels. There's the physical level, which is a lot of fun. There's this emotional level, which is extremely mercurial.

I love being backstage, or doing littler things like Blame Canada.

Incoming is not the thing you want to hear at Christmas.

All who are entrusted with spiritual and temporal talents must lay them out for the Lord and Master's advantage.

It takes the whole church to know the whole truth.

Lives, like money, are spent. What are you buying with yours?

Take your inspiration from wherever you find it, no matter how ridiculous.

Follow a trail of bold mistakes and at the end of them you will find a genius.

Guard the secret theater of your heart. See nothing there that you do not want to see happen in reality.

A visual image is a simple thing, a picture that enters the eyes.

A good story often increases the salability of an item without increasing its actual value.