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JT Fields Quotes

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JT Fields Quotes: "You know, Mrs. Fields was never a business. It was a part of me...and I never separated, oh, well, business from personal because to me they all blended together."

You know, Mrs. Fields was never a business. It was a part of me...and I never separated, oh, well, business from personal because to me they all blended together.



JT Fields Quotes: "If you think you can, then you’re half way there. If you say, ‘I can’t,’ then you’re defeated."

If you think you can, then you’re half way there. If you say, ‘I can’t,’ then you’re defeated.




JT Fields Quotes: "Never give up. The bankers and financial people did not take me seriously initially. Everyone thought I would fail. My attitude was that 'No' is an unacceptable answer when it comes to financing."

Never give up. The bankers and financial people did not take me seriously initially. Everyone thought I would fail. My attitude was that 'No' is an unacceptable answer when it comes to financing.



JT Fields Quotes: "Because what nobody ever understood is that I, too, wanted to be a somebody. But how do you go through life wanting to be a someone and not knowing how?"

Because what nobody ever understood is that I, too, wanted to be a somebody. But how do you go through life wanting to be a someone and not knowing how?




JT Fields Quotes: "Remember, the greatest failure is not to try."

Remember, the greatest failure is not to try.



JT Fields Quotes: "I'm in the mood for love, simply because you're near me. Funny, but when you're near me I'm in the mood for love."

I'm in the mood for love, simply because you're near me. Funny, but when you're near me I'm in the mood for love.



JT Fields Quotes: "I don't care how good a song is. If it holds back the storyline, stalls the plot, your audience will reject it."

I don't care how good a song is. If it holds back the storyline, stalls the plot, your audience will reject it.




JT Fields Quotes: "A song doesn't just come on. I've always had to tease it out, squeeze it out. 'No thesaurus can give you those words, no rhyming dictionary. They must happen out of you."

A song doesn't just come on. I've always had to tease it out, squeeze it out. 'No thesaurus can give you those words, no rhyming dictionary. They must happen out of you.



JT Fields Quotes: "I do not think men have more talent. There are a great many women in the arts; novelists, painters, sculptors, poets-but the proportion is far lower in the field of song writing."

I do not think men have more talent. There are a great many women in the arts; novelists, painters, sculptors, poets-but the proportion is far lower in the field of song writing.



JT Fields Quotes: "In a show or a movie, one must work with many people. Many women just don't have the time for it."

In a show or a movie, one must work with many people. Many women just don't have the time for it.



JT Fields Quotes: "The songwriter mustn't fall in love with his own song. If it doesn't belong, he can't push it into a show. Let him save it; maybe it'll fit in another show."

The songwriter mustn't fall in love with his own song. If it doesn't belong, he can't push it into a show. Let him save it; maybe it'll fit in another show.



JT Fields Quotes: "I began to be impressed by what made a good book-how you needed to have a sensible story, a plot that developed, with a beginning, a middle, and an end that would tie everything together."

I began to be impressed by what made a good book-how you needed to have a sensible story, a plot that developed, with a beginning, a middle, and an end that would tie everything together.




JT Fields Quotes: "Elizabeth Barrett Browning could write a poem two pages long. Could she have brought it to a music publisher?"

Elizabeth Barrett Browning could write a poem two pages long. Could she have brought it to a music publisher?



JT Fields Quotes: "A song just doesn't come on. I've always had to tease it out, squeeze it out."

A song just doesn't come on. I've always had to tease it out, squeeze it out.



JT Fields Quotes: "Just then, with a wink and a sly normal lurch, The owl very gravely got down from his perch, Walked round, and regarded his fault-finding critic (Who thought he was stuffed) with a glance analytic."

Just then, with a wink and a sly normal lurch, The owl very gravely got down from his perch, Walked round, and regarded his fault-finding critic (Who thought he was stuffed) with a glance analytic.



JT Fields Quotes: "Let heaven-eyed Prudence battle with Desire."

Let heaven-eyed Prudence battle with Desire.



JT Fields Quotes: "I never drink water... fish f**k in it."

I never drink water... fish f**k in it.



JT Fields Quotes: "I've been barbecued, stewed, screwed, tattooed, and fried by people claiming to be my friends. The human race has gone backward, not forward, since the days we were apes swinging through the trees."

I've been barbecued, stewed, screwed, tattooed, and fried by people claiming to be my friends. The human race has gone backward, not forward, since the days we were apes swinging through the trees.



JT Fields Quotes: "All my available funds are completely tied up in cash."

All my available funds are completely tied up in cash.



JT Fields Quotes: "Marriage is better than leprosy only because it's easier to get rid of."

Marriage is better than leprosy only because it's easier to get rid of.



JT Fields Quotes: "I like thieves. Some of my best friends are thieves. Why, just last week we had the president of the bank over for dinner."

I like thieves. Some of my best friends are thieves. Why, just last week we had the president of the bank over for dinner.



JT Fields Quotes: "It's quite true I'm not drinking anymore; however, I'm not drinking any less either."

It's quite true I'm not drinking anymore; however, I'm not drinking any less either.



JT Fields Quotes: "No man is boss in his own home, but he can make up for it, he thinks, by making a dog play dead."

No man is boss in his own home, but he can make up for it, he thinks, by making a dog play dead.



JT Fields Quotes: "Wouldn't it be terrible if I quoted some reliable statistics which prove that more people are driven insane through religious hysteria than by drinking alcohol."

Wouldn't it be terrible if I quoted some reliable statistics which prove that more people are driven insane through religious hysteria than by drinking alcohol.



JT Fields Quotes: "Few things in life are more embarrassing than the necessity of having to inform an old friend that you have just got engaged to his fiancee."

Few things in life are more embarrassing than the necessity of having to inform an old friend that you have just got engaged to his fiancee.



JT Fields Quotes: "Was I in here last night and did I spend a $20 bill? Oh, thank goodness... I thought I'd lost it."

Was I in here last night and did I spend a $20 bill? Oh, thank goodness... I thought I'd lost it.



JT Fields Quotes: "Buried my wife the other day. Had to, she died."

Buried my wife the other day. Had to, she died.



JT Fields Quotes: "I'm looking for loopholes."

I'm looking for loopholes.



JT Fields Quotes: "Remember, Lady Godiva put all she had on a horse and she lost her shirt!"

Remember, Lady Godiva put all she had on a horse and she lost her shirt!



JT Fields Quotes: "I never met a kid I liked."

I never met a kid I liked.



JT Fields Quotes: "I've never hit a woman in my life. Not even my own mother."

I've never hit a woman in my life. Not even my own mother.



JT Fields Quotes: "I'd take a Bromo, but I can't stand the noise."

I'd take a Bromo, but I can't stand the noise.



JT Fields Quotes: "Variant: I was driven to drink by a woman. I am forever grateful, yet I never had the good manners to thank her."

Variant: I was driven to drink by a woman. I am forever grateful, yet I never had the good manners to thank her.



JT Fields Quotes: "I could juggle anything in my day. Balls, cigar boxes, knives...But there was one thing I could never juggle. My income tax."

I could juggle anything in my day. Balls, cigar boxes, knives...But there was one thing I could never juggle. My income tax.



JT Fields Quotes: "Smile first thing in the morning. Get it over with."

Smile first thing in the morning. Get it over with.



JT Fields Quotes: "To me, these biblical stories are just so many fish stories, and I'm not specifically referring to Jonah and the whale. I need indisputable proof of anything I'm asked to believe."

To me, these biblical stories are just so many fish stories, and I'm not specifically referring to Jonah and the whale. I need indisputable proof of anything I'm asked to believe.



JT Fields Quotes: "The Punkwat twins! Brentwood is the world's smallest giant, whilst his brother, Elwood, is the largest midget in the world. They baffle science!"

The Punkwat twins! Brentwood is the world's smallest giant, whilst his brother, Elwood, is the largest midget in the world. They baffle science!



JT Fields Quotes: "Ye Gads, no! I couldn't stand the noise."

Ye Gads, no! I couldn't stand the noise.



JT Fields Quotes: "I note the derogatory rumors concerning the use of alcoholic stimulants and lavish living. It is the penalty of greatness."

I note the derogatory rumors concerning the use of alcoholic stimulants and lavish living. It is the penalty of greatness.



JT Fields Quotes: "In every big city there is always one surefire laugh, and that lies in hanging some piece of idiocy upon the people of a nearby city or town."

In every big city there is always one surefire laugh, and that lies in hanging some piece of idiocy upon the people of a nearby city or town.



JT Fields Quotes: "Thou shalt not steal-only from other comedians."

Thou shalt not steal-only from other comedians.



JT Fields Quotes: "I would rather be living in Philadelphia."

I would rather be living in Philadelphia.



JT Fields Quotes: "I don't know why I ever come in here. The flies get the best of everything."

I don't know why I ever come in here. The flies get the best of everything.



JT Fields Quotes: "I seldom took a drink on the set before 9 a.m."

I seldom took a drink on the set before 9 a.m.



JT Fields Quotes: "California is the only state in the union where you can fall asleep under a rose bush in full bloom and freeze to death."

California is the only state in the union where you can fall asleep under a rose bush in full bloom and freeze to death.



JT Fields Quotes: "There are seven natural openings in the head and body. A lawyer is the only human being with eight. The extra one is a slot to store money in, should his bank be unable to hold all of it."

There are seven natural openings in the head and body. A lawyer is the only human being with eight. The extra one is a slot to store money in, should his bank be unable to hold all of it.



JT Fields Quotes: "It's a wonderful thing, the D.T.'s. You can travel the world in a couple of hours. You see some mighty funny and curious things that come in assorted colors."

It's a wonderful thing, the D.T.'s. You can travel the world in a couple of hours. You see some mighty funny and curious things that come in assorted colors.



JT Fields Quotes: "Ultimately chess is just chess - not the best thing in the world and not the worst thing in the world, but there is nothing quite like it."

Ultimately chess is just chess - not the best thing in the world and not the worst thing in the world, but there is nothing quite like it.



JT Fields Quotes: "Here is my best advice on the matter of deductibles: just count off on your fingers all the items that you suspect might be deductible - and then forget them, because they aren't."

Here is my best advice on the matter of deductibles: just count off on your fingers all the items that you suspect might be deductible - and then forget them, because they aren't.