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Cheer up: You're a worse sinner than you ever dared imagine, and you're more loved than you ever dared hope.
When someone has the desire to go to school and has the ability but can't get into our schools, that's wrong. Education drives the economy and the quality of life.
I'm sure you have drawers overflowing with panties the ladies throw at the stage. We saw you guys play down at Mon Brewing a few times. Way to keep the Nineties alive.
Here's how I'll tell you what I think—if you see white smoke then you know I picked a new pope. And if I'm drinking a Snapple then you know I don't give a shit.
May your glass always be full, may there always be a roof over your head, and may you dirty sinners be in heaven a half hour before the devil knows you're dead.