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I'll eat the hell out of a bagel. That's what I do
Perhaps you could call your cat Meow so it could say it's own name. Or how about Stupid Cat Get Out Of Here. That would really confuse it if you tried to call it over to you.
You could hollow out a big pumpkin and wear it on your head for the entire week of your birthday. This will allow you to get in touch with your Halloween emotions.
Well, I was named after Mick Jagger's daughter, Jade Jagger. How emasculating is it to be named after a girl! But I think I handled it well, it's not like I ended up wearing makeup and girl's pants.